Mommy Naru
by LilBlue-Hedggie
Summary: How was he supposed to know the thing was going to reach out at him and say, 'Mommy' Team 7 is charged with babysitting until the baby's parents are found, the problem: Why does it call Naruto mommy? SasuNaru, other warnings inside.
1. Prologue

LBH: Ok, I know I shouldn't be starting another story…But I can't help it! …But since I only have one other story going on it doesn't go against my policy of no more than three stories going on at a time.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto. **

**WARNING:Yaoi, and mpreg, and the worst of all, terrible grammar! I have no beta, if it isn't already completely obvious. And let's just pretend Sasuke didn't leave to join Orochimaru…That man's tongue…gives me the willies. **

PROLOGUE:

The Baby

Naruto was honestly starting to wonder _how_ he managed to find himself in these situations. He was always getting in to trouble, sure, but he could always get out of it. But this was by far the worst. It had all started when his team had gone to meet the Hokage for a mission, if they were lucky it'd be a C-Class mission. And it was all going so well too! Iruka-sensei was _going_ to hand them a mid-rank C-class mission, _mid-rank!_ They were actually going to fight some bandits this time! But no, Tsunade just had to come out of her office, holding a baby of all things! Honestly?! How was he supposed to know the thing was going to reach out to him and say "Mommy!"?!

There was silence in the office. Sakura was the first to dare say anything.

"…Did…did that baby just call Naruto…mommy?"

And lo and behold it happened again. "Mommy!"

"Yes Sakura, I do believe that baby _did_ just call Naruto mommy." Kakashi replied. "Have you been doing something we don't know about Naruto?"

"WHAT?! No! And even if I was why would it call me of all people mommy!"

Sakura nodded in agreement, "As if Naruto could get a date, and besides that baby is far too cute to have any relation to Naruto."

And it was true, the baby was pretty cute. It had a small disorganized mop of soft ebony hair that fell gently into its huge sky blue eyes. It was a fairly small little being, at least in Naruto's eyes, with healthy peachy skin, a cute button nose, and an adorable pout on its lips. It was dressed in a light blue baby jumper that zipped up in the front and had little pockets set around his mid stomach. In the child's arms was a small fox plush toy that seemed to be well loved.

"I resent that! Look, it has my eyes!"

There was another silence as they all looked from the baby's eyes to Naruto's. The resemblance was there.

"Oh, but Naruto I thought you said you didn't know this baby?"

"That is not what I meant and you know it Kakashi-sensei!"

It was now that Sasuke spoke up for the first time, "I hate to break up…Whatever this is, but don't we have a mission to go on?"

At this Tsunade smiled, "Yes, but not anymore! I have a new mission for you now!" Walking to Naruto she dumped the struggling baby into the blonde's arms where it cuddled happily into Naruto's chest. "Congratulations! You are this baby's new mother!"

"What?!"

"This child was found earlier out by the training fields and we need someone to watch him while we find his parents. But when I tried to have someone else care for him, he would cry. You're the only one he seems to like so far."

"But he wasn't crying with you!"

"True, but he never seemed happy, just pouted miserably the whole time. Besides, I'm the Hokage; I have better things to do instead of care for some lost kid."

"But-"

"Oh be quiet Naruto! It's not every day that we get to watch such a cute baby!"

"But Sakura-chan!"

"No buts Naruto now let me hold him. I'm sure he'd prefer me better, I don't even think you're holding him the right way."

Taking the baby gently from Naruto's arms she paused to see if there was any reaction. The child sniffled a little at the loss of his "mommy" but he seemed comfortable enough in Sakura's arms for the time being. "So, what's his name Hokage-sama?"

"Well, we think it's Toppuu because it's embroidered on that plush doll of his."

"Doesn't that mean squall, or something of that nature? And a squall is a storm or something right?"

"Yes, a sudden violent gust of wind, kind of like your name Naruto, maelstrom."

"That describes the dead last alright."

"What did you say bas-"

"Not in front of the baby Naruto!"

"I mean- bass fish!"

Sasuke snorted, "Of all the things you could have come up with. That baby must be as idiotic as you."

"Don't be that was Sasuke-kun! Toppuu is a smart baby, why don't you hold him." The pink haired girl walked to her moody teammate and placed to baby in his awkward arms. Sasuke looked down at the baby and the baby looked back at him. Wait a minute; did that baby just _smirk_ at him? Then out of nowhere Toppuu sniffled and his eyes watered until he broke out in a loud wail.

Running forward Naruto shoved Sasuke aside and took the baby from his arms and Toppuu stopped crying instantly. "I knew it! You're such a prick even babies cry when they see your face!" Seeing that he was being ignored Toppuu sniffled pitifully and waved his small arms at Naruto's face. "Mommy?" Naruto stopped his rant to look back down at the baby. "I'm not your mommy kid." At this Toppuu's eyes seemed to grow even bigger and water simultaneously. Naruto's resolve quickly washed away at the sight of those eyes. "Oh alright I guess you can call me mommy. So what's say that we get you home Toppuu-chan?" Naruto smiled at the now giggling baby and walked out the door.

Sasuke just stared, that baby…it couldn't have done that on purpose? No baby was that smart. No, he was just being foolish.

Little did Sasuke know that baby would cause a lot of trouble for him in the near future.

LBH:….Hm….Yeah, don't ask.

R/R


	2. Motherhood

LBH: …Wow… I've never gotten so many reviews for one chapter. I'm away from my computer for one day, one! And I get at least 20… Well, at least I'll be able to update for often now. A while back I fell down the stairs. (Nothing broken, only I had to carry an icepack around for a while.) Then I saw some friends coming out of their drama club and ran to greet them…Big mistake, I managed to slip and fall on my back…again… So I'll be immobile for a while, leaving me to type. I swear I have a bruise the size of Antarctica on my back. If you've read my profile you know that I say I'm clumsy…

**DISCLAIMER: I hold no rights to any of this…well except maybe a little of the plot idea. **

**WARNING: Yaoi, we all know what this means yesssss. And mpreg. And terrible spelling and grammar. No beta, remember? And it's not as if I have anyone to ask so…Yep all this is done purely by me. **

**/---------------------------/**

CHAPTER ONE:

Motherhood

Naruto was convinced, he was never having children when he got older. Toppuu himself wasn't bad, it was just… How was he ever supposed to afford everything?! There was clothing; bedding, diapers, toys, special cribs, bottles, formula, and apparently most people a bought changing table… Whatever _that_ was.

Surprisingly, he wasn't chased out of the market place. Personally, he thought they were shocked that an adorable baby like Toppuu was curled up happily in what they considered a demon's arms. But who knows, maybe this will improve his image if even innocent babies liked his company.

He still would have been worried about the money if Sakura-chan hadn't caught up to him with some money that the Hokage had forgotten to give him. Heh, the old hag probably forgot to on purpose so she could use it for gambling. Either that or she really was going senile.

After getting help from fellow shinobi he got gotten everything to temporarily take care of a baby into his small apartment, which now seemed more cramp than the cozy it once was. Another thing that was purchased in the market was books about babies. He never knew the little things could be so…complicated. You had to feed them a certain way, burp them, cradle them, comfort them, as Shikamaru would say, how troublesome. All the books said there was a strong mother-child bond, causing most mothers to sometimes to forget all other priorities. He figured he wouldn't have a problem with this because he wasn't Toppuu's actual mother, and the fact that he was a boy, but even if he was, nothing could tear him away from his training! Little did he know how wrong he was…

After everything was settled in his apartment, Naruto packed a large blue messenger like bag full of all the baby things Sakura said he would need. Kakashi figured even though they had a baby with them now it wouldn't kill his team to spar a little bit, and maybe while Sakura boosted her taijustu skills Naruto would be able to work on chakra control since he had to watch the baby. With a great pull Naruto hung the heavy baby bag over his shoulder and lifted Toppuu carefully into his arms. Edging the door open with his foot Naruto and Sakura made their way to teams 7's training grounds.

It was the most boring training session of Naruto's life, don't get me wrong, he knew chakra control was important it was just…Boring. Currently he was trying to get a leaf to stay on the tip if his fingers but he just couldn't get the hang of it. Sighing he looked up to see Sakura and Sasuke sparing, Sakura was losing but at least she had made improvements and was using her superior chakra control to her advantage.

Deciding the take a small break he looked over at Toppuu who was happily sitting on a blanket beside him playing with his small fox toy. He'd tried to get the boy to actually say his name but apparently mommy was the only word he knew, other than that he was completely literate in baby speech only.

It was kind of sad really, Naruto thought absently. What if Toppuu had been abandoned by his parents or something? Then he was an orphan like him, although he wasn't really attached to the kid he still felt bad for him. He was snapped out of his thoughts but a small wail from Toppuu's mouth. Quickly snapped his head towards to baby's direction he saw that the boy had fallen off the blanket while trying to reach for his toy that he'd thrown too far.

He couldn't describe it really but at that moment his heart jumped into his throat at the thought of Toppuu being hurt.

Jumping up quickly he rushed to the sniffling boy and picked him up quickly. Checking him over for any injuries he was relieved to find none. It seemed the baby was sniffling just because of his sudden fall, not because of injuries.

Suddenly feeling a sort of motherly instinct he never knew he had he smiled brightly and held Toppuu above his head by his armpits and smiled brightly at him. "Did my little Toppuu-chan have a fall?"

Toppuu angled his head back down at Naruto's face smiling and giggling while his little arms reached towards the blonde's golden hair while saying the only word he knew. "Mommy!"

"Yes you did, yes you did! But you're all better now aren't you To-chan?" Bringing Toppuu down in front of his face Naruto rubbed noses with the little boy who giggled even louder bringing Kakashi's attention to the pair.

"Getting used to motherhood, eh Naruto?"

"Kakashi-sensei! It's not what it looks like! I swear it's for the sake of the mission!" Naruto yelled, immediately coming out his 'motherhood trance' to turn towards Kakashi while bring Toppuu down towards his chest.

"If I recall, Hokage-sama only wanted us to look after the baby. Not planning to run away with the little guy are you?" Kakashi said smiling pleasantly.

"Of course not!! Th-that was just a spur of the moment thing! I don't know what came over me! I assure you it will never happen again!"

"What will never happen again Naruto?"

"Eh, Sakura-chan? Nothing! Nothing happened!"

Apparently Sasuke and Sakura had finished their spar and had come over to the trio. Sakura looked on in interest while Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"So what happened? Really?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't be silly! Naruto here was just showing us what a great mother he really is!" Kakashi seemed eerily chipper in telling the rest of his team this information.

Naruto blushed brightly and scowled.

"The dead last here? A parent? Not likely, especially with a brat like this." Sasuke said while poking at Toppuu's cheek harshly. He was moody because of his switch in sparring partner, Sakura was getting better but he preferred sparring with Naruto, who actually gave him a challenge.

Narrowing his eyes Naruto slapped away Sasuke's hand instantly and cuddled Toppuu to his chest protectively. "Don't bully Toppuu-chan!"

"What the hell-"

"Don't swear in front of the baby!" Naruto yelled before Sasuke could finish his sentence, and stomped heavily on Sasuke's foot which caused the avenger to fall over clutching his foot in pain.

Lying on the ground Sasuke waited expectedly for Naruto to mock him, it was ritual after all, but they were not the words he was expecting.

"It's okay Toppuu-chan, that meany Sasuke won't bother you again. Now, let's get you something to eat."

He couldn't believe it; Naruto just ignored the perfect chance to make a fool out of him for-for a BABY! He just completely blew off their usual bickering for some slobbering baby! Getting up as dignified as he could Sasuke looked up to see an equally shocked Sakura and Kakashi. Since when had Naruto become a mother-hen?

Meanwhile Naruto had spread a large blanket around and grabbed a stuffed c-shaped tube and placed Toppuu in the mouth, the plush making a good seat for the baby. Digging once again through the bag he brought out some formula and a bottle. From what little of the books he'd read last night he figured it had to warmed, unfortunately he wasn't a woman, so he couldn't breast-feed, and the closest microwave would take too long to get to, this left one option, someone who could use fire justu…Damn.

"Oi! Sasuke, get over here!"

There! Finally Naruto seemed to remember the balance of things! Naruto did not ignore him; Naruto got angry and followed him around until they argued, sparred, and someone got their ass kicked.

"Come to your senses then, dead last?"

Completely ignoring Sasuke, Naruto bent down and grasped the bottle in his hand and shoved in into Sasuke's chest.

"What _is_ this thing?"

"A bottle."

"What do you want me to do with it?"

"I want you to make yourself useful and heat up that formula with a fire jutsu or something since you seem so keen on burning things! But if you make it too hot or too cold I swear I'll find some way to castrate you-"

As Naruto continued with his threat Sasuke stood dumbfounded. No comments about his greatness, not even calling him a bastard anymore, had someone abducted Naruto without him knowing? Narrowing his eyes he questioned the imposter.

"Who are you and what have you done to the dead last?"

"What? I _am_ Naruto you idiot!"

"The true Naruto would have called me a bastard-"

Drawing his fist back Naruto punched Sasuke right in the race. "Don't swear in front of my baby!" Huffing Naruto stomped back towards the woods and grabbed a big log and dumped it in a patch of dirt. Pulling his small shinobi pouch from his belt he took a waterproof match out and lit it, setting the log on fire. Holding the bottle of formula over the flame he waited until it settled on a good temperature. Placing the bottle down he kicked dirt on the burning log he walked back towards Toppuu who watched the whole scene with glee in his eyes. The baby seemed to have an unnatural obsession with causing Sasuke pain, whether directly or indirectly.

Sakura stood dumbfounded, Naruto _never_ acted this way, even on missions he always made time to bicker and spar with Sasuke, it was ritual now! And he just suddenly changed over a baby…

Kakashi appeared overall amused with the current events. Ah the wonders of motherhood! He'd seen things like this in action before, he once knew a completely docile woman and once she had her first child she would o completely crazy at anyone who dared to do anything remotely immoral around her child. He had never been hit so much in his life. It was amusing to see the effects of motherhood in Naruto, especially since Naruto was a male after all.

Making his way back to Toppuu, Naruto picked the baby up, and well…He didn't know what else to do after this… Heck he didn't even know if the kid was old enough to still need a bottle! Looking at Toppuu who was gently gnawing on his fox plush, maybe the bottle wasn't needed at this stage, maybe something like applesauce. Luckily they had bought some of that as well. Putting the bottle down he reached into the bag and picked out some mushy baby food and a small spoon with tan plastic covering the spoon portion. He was just unscrewing the cap when the rest of his team came and settled on the blanket for lunch. Kakashi was smiling happily, Sakura looked shocked, and Sasuke was still scowling and was nursing his face where Naruto had punched him.

"Naruto…are you…feeling well?" Sakura asked with some trepidation.

"I'm fine, why do you ask Sakura-chan?"

"Well…you're acting…strange."

"Hm? I don't see how I'm acting strange."

Sakura sweat dropped at Naruto words when he scooped some sauce onto the spoon and brought it to Toppuu's mouth, all the while making funny sounds and gestures with his mouth that made the baby giggle between bites. How can he say that when he's making faces at a twelve month old baby?

Sasuke twitched slightly, what had happened to his friend? He had changed in the course of the day! And the reason must be that baby. Glaring towards the small child he was shocked again when the baby smirked at him, again! It was settled, he'd somehow get rid of that insufferable brat and then all would be right in the world again. Their team would go back to normal and Naruto would focus all attention back to beating him again. As his best friend and rival should be concerned with only him! …He did not just sound jealous just now, no sir.

The team resumed training, well except Naruto who had just finished cleaning up Toppuu and was playing and giggling with the little boy. All of a sudden the peace was disturbed when Naruto yell in delight.

"Kakashi-sensei! Sakura-chan! Come look! He's walking! WALKING!"

They all stopped to look back at the blanket again where Naruto was kneeled down and Toppuu was unsteadily making his way towards the blonde's outstretched arms. The three made their way over and Sakura squealed merrily at how cute it was, after you got over Naruto's weird behavior, it was really kind of cute. She didn't peg Naruto as parent material before but then again he always did get along well with the younger children of the village with his own childlike demeanor, especially Konohamaru and his gang.

Sasuke looked disdainfully down at the baby, great, the brat was mobile now. But _maybe_ if he _accidentally_ fell down and broke something he'd be sent away to some hospital or better yet, back to his parents. The black haired boy was snapped out of his thoughts by a happily laughing Naruto. Toppuu had apparently made it to Naruto and had instantly fallen into his lap giggling. He felt a small surge of jealousy again, Naruto never smiled at him like that…

Standing up with Toppuu in his arms Naruto scrambled around in frenzy, a wide grin spread over his features.

"Well what are you waiting for? Someone get a camera, or better, a video camera, we have to tell someone, everyone! The old hag, Jiraiya, oh and Iruka! We have to get everyone down here now! My baby WALKED!"

Sakura giggled lightly at Naruto's enthusiasm. When he wasn't acting all idiotic he wasn't so bad, it was kind of cute really, in the sense that a little brother had just done something absolutely adorable.

Kakashi smiled pleasantly, he'd never seen Naruto so happy. Maybe this baby was a good influence, and he seemed to be a natural at it. It might have something to do with the Kyuubi; animals have a natural instinct to take care of their young and Kyuubi, even though a demon was still a fox.

Sasuke seemed to be the only one not pleased with Naruto's new motherly instincts. Naruto was one of the few he actually wanted around most of the time and when that baby came along he was left in the dust. He'd find some way to show that baby that no one takes something from an Uchiha…

KONOHA: 10 YEARS FROM NOW

In the Hokage tower a man was pacing back and forth frantically while another sat calmly on the couch. The pacing man was a about average height with wild sunshine hair, piercing blue eyes, and a slightly feminine appearance due the wide eyes and delicate structure. The other was not a great deal taller, but still taller none the less with pitch black hair; obsidian eyes and he had a larger frame with broader shoulders than his smaller blonde companion.

He was gone! His baby was gone and- and his good for nothing husband had the nerve to be calm about it!

"Uchiha Sasuke! You have a lot of nerve! It's our _son_ that's missing here! Get off you ass and help!"

The black haired man, now identified as Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Naruto, you know he's in the past somehow and you know that he'll be fine when he returns. Calm down."

"B-but, what if something happens that didn't happen before and I'm missing him WALK for the first time!"

"But you saw it when we were twelve."

"It's not the same and you know it!" Throwing his hands up Naruto slouched down on the couch next to Sasuke.

"…What if he's lonely Sasuke? Or-or suffering from parent separation anxiety! I've read about it you know and he might not feel comfortable there!"

Smiling slightly at his 'wife' Sasuke grabbed the blonde's chin and brought their faces closer together.

"He'll be fine; he has your twelve year old self there remember?"

Naruto perked up at this. "Yeah…I remember he called me mommy in the Hokage's office."

"Leave it to Toppuu to recognize his mummy."

"Well at least I was good to him back then; you practically followed me around like a jealous boyfriend until he was gone!"

"But you've experienced that before remember." Smirking Sasuke brought their lips together for a brief kiss. "And you know…It's good to have a vacation without Toppuu here for a while, not that I love him any less but he can be a pain sometimes."

"How so?"

"Well he's far too over protective of you. And he always has your attention. Plus you act like a mother hen around him."

"I've told you before, he'll get over it. Just some babies are especially attached to their 'mothers.' He'll get over it soon enough and then he'll be following you around. And I am not a mother-hen!"

"Somehow I doubt that, he is going to be a mama's boy the rest of his life."

"Good, because I'd miss him otherwise."

"Well there's a solution to that too if he grows out of it." Sasuke stood up abruptly then turned back around to Naruto and pulled him up by the wrist. In a quick motion he had Naruto leaning back, the only keeping him from hitting the floor were the arms around his waist and the arm held to the back of his head, and the blonde's lips locked in his. (You now in all those dance moves where the guy swings the girl back towards the floor…Is there a name for that?) Releasing the now swollen pink lips he smirked.

"We _could_ always make more…"

"Sasuke!" Naruto blushed profoundly.

"And that's another reason Toppuu can be annoying. He always cries when I try to get you alone…"

"Is that all you think about you pervert!"

"You're the one married this pervert."

"Well you just wouldn't give up!"

"I got you in the end didn't I?"

Naruto scowled but it soon turned into a happy smile. "Fine, we'll enjoy our first vacation."

"Off we go then." Suddenly pulling Naruto up again he lifted the slim blonde over his shoulder and jumped out the window.

"Wait Sasuke! I still have Hokage duties! Sasuke? SASUKE?! Hey don't ignore me like that!"

Needless to say not much was heard from the pair after that.

/------------------------------------/

LBH: And yes, it was completely obvious that Toppuu is from the future. Darn time traveling babies… They're more prone to combustion than others you know… And although I'm know a good deal about baby care (Comes from having so many cousins.) I know hardly anything about anything else so I did a little research on baby milestones and things like that. (Judging from that I guess that Toppuu is about 12 months?) And apparently there's a hormone that kinda brings out the motherly side. Strange, isn't it? Its called oxytocin or something, you get it in fathers too apparently. It's one of the reasons why parents love their children so much. Not that I know much about that, I'm no mother. I'd be a terrible mother, probably trip over something and crush the baby on accident…

R/R


	3. Babysitting

LBH: This must be a record, I swear. I've never had so man reviews for two chapters before…But who am I kidding?! Keep em' coming! They boost my feeble ego! And if I don't answer your question try not to be offended, I tend to forget things easily and I'm still spazzing over the amount of reviews so I might be a bit light headed. But since you've all been so nice I'll update this really fast. Normally my updating speed isn't so great, I have this thing about typing alone and when no one is looking and I just have so much family around all the time…Makes things difficult.

**DISCLAIMER: Cause I have to have one every chapter. I do not own Naruto! At all. Sad isn't it? **

**WARNING: Bag grammar and spelling (English is my first language and I _still_ don't understand much of it, Latin is far easier.), yaoi, mpreg, insane authoress…Ohhh the list could keep on growing! Ah, I almost forgot, a _slightly_ possessive Sasuke. That was sarcasm…Warning for sarcasm as well. **

**/---------------------------/**

CHAPTER TWO:

Babysitting

"**Uchiha Sasuke!** I can't believe you! I leave you alone for an hour, one hour and you've managed to destroy almost everything in my apartment and you've gotten Toppuu dirty! And you're only wearing a **TOWEL! **Now, what do you have to say for yourself?!"

There was silence.

"…He…started it?"

Another moment of silence.

"Since when did you start taking after Kakashi-sensei?!"

"It's not a lie, I swear!"

Hold up, rewind. You may be wondering what's going on here. Well, since I can't possibly _not_ let you know what happened, let's go back to the beginning…

ONE HOUR AGO

"Oh honestly Sasuke it's not that hard!"

"For the last time no!"

Glaring stubbornly Naruto stepped closer and looked up at the dark haired boy's face.

"Don't tell me the almighty _invincible_ Uchiha Sasuke can't take care of a little baby?"

"Ch, it's not that I can't do it, but why should I have to take care of that runny nosed brat?"

"Because Jiraiya stopped by the village of his own free will for once and he said he'd train me some. And Jiraiya is not the kind of adult influence I want on Toppuu!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's the world's biggest super pervert! And he takes that as a compliment! He'd probably use Toppuu to lure women to him and I won't let him do that, and since Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan already have things planned that leaves you! Tsunade did say this mission was for _all_ of team seven. That means you!"

"Can't you just skip seeing Jiraiya? He seems perfectly happy with you."

"No, and so far you've done the least amount of work on this mission so take responsibility. We're all Toppuu has for family right now and Sakura is like an Aunt, and Kakashi is like that weird Uncle you always like to hang around, and as much as I dislike it I'm the mother so that leaves you to be a-a cousin twice removed or something!"

"Can't I just be the grumpy next door neighbor who shakes his cane at little kids?"

"**NO!** And I thought you wanted to revive you clan, and in case you don't remember that requires babies, so consider this as practice."

"But…"

"No buts, now all you need to know how to do is in this book." Naruto handed Sasuke a fairly thick light blue book with a picture of a baby on the cover. "You're supposed to be a genius or something I'm sure you'll figure it out easily. Now, I'll only be gone for an hour."

"Are you positive there is no way to get out of this? I'll take you for ramen."

"No." Scowling at Sasuke once more Naruto walked to the couch where Toppuu was sitting happily. Smiling vibrantly at the little boy he kissed him on the cheek and patted his head. "Mommy has to go somewhere for a little while Toppuu-chan, you be good okay? But if Sasuke is too much of a meany you have my permission to make his life as miserable as possible for the next hour." Standing up the blonde glared at Sasuke once more and left the apartment.

But before Sasuke could move the door opening again and Naruto stuck his head in.

"And if you hurt him, you'll be kissing something." The blonde said in a monotone voice.

"W-what?"

"Kissing your pitiful manhood goodbye." With a slight cackle the door was closed yet again.

…He never knew Naruto had a sadistic side. Well…It was only one hour, it couldn't be so bad. Sasuke turned to head for the kitchen when he was hit in the back of the head with a fox plush toy. Turning around on the balls of his feet he stared at the innocent looking baby. Toppuu was busy fiddling with his little hands and looking at his many plush toys that Sakura had insisted on getting.

Looking suspicious he turned back around only to have his head pelted again, this time with a weasel toy. Oh…This means war, he was not going to have some weasel (That did **NOT** remind him of his brother.) get the better of him.

Walking stiffly towards the couch he plucked up the baby up by its armpits and stared squarely into his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a small burst of flames. The Uchiha blinked rapidly to clear his ash covered face. That baby…did not just use a fire jutsu! But turning on his Sharingan he saw that this baby did have fairly high reserves for a baby, just enough to make a small flame that mostly covered the victim in soot. (Pretend for a minute here, Okay?)

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a deep breathing in from Toppuu. He tilted his head just in time to avoid the mini flame justu. But it caught his hair on fire. Dropping the baby unceremoniously onto the couch he sprinted straight to the kitchen and dunked his head under the sink, thoroughly putting out the fire.

"I knew it, there is something off abut that baby! There must be something about it otherwise Naruto would never ignore sparring with me. He must have hypnotized him or something. Or maybe it's a shinobi in henge."

Cautiously stepping back into the room he snuck up behind the couch silently and formed his hands in a seal. "Kai!" To his disappointment, nothing happened. Toppuu only turned his head up and smirked slightly before a foul odor filled the room.

"Y-you did not! Take it back in, take it back right now!"

Toppuu's baby smirked only widened.

"Ug, I can't believe I'm doing this…"

Sasuke lifted the baby up and held him as far away from his torso as possible. He nearly gagged when the diaper the boy was wearing sag under the weight. Naruto didn't know how lucky he was that he was cute… No! I mean a good sparring partner and sort of friend. Never cute.

Quickly moving over to the changing table he placed the baby down and stared dumfounded. How was he supposed to know how to change a diaper? Wait, Naruto said something about a book. Looking from side to side until he found it he picked up flipper to a chapter that was labeled "Diaper Changing."

"Okay, okay is says here that the soiled diaper must be removed and before applying a clean diaper the baby should be cleaned and using a powder to avoid rash is advised. But how do I take **off** a diaper?!"

Well then, he'd just have to improvise.

Taking out a kunai he looked the diaper over. It seemed to be held together at the sides. Taking out a shinobi smoke mask from his belt he placed it over his face to stop the stench. Moving closer to the baby who was watching his pained face with glee he brought the sharp end down and cut the sides revealing the present Toppuu had left inside.

"Arrrrrrrg! How does Naruto **STAND **you?! You're smelly and you have sadistic side like that stupid dead last!"

Grabbing a box of wipes from the baby bag he wiped the boy's behind as quickly as possible and tossed both dirty diaper and wipe out the window. He distantly heard a yell of disgust but ignored it.

Lifting Toppuu's bottom off the table he quickly powdered the boy and made a move to apply the unused diaper when they sprung a leak. Gagging Sasuke held his arms in front of his face to avoid getting urine onto his face and clothes. (Sorry, couldn't resist. Don't you just hate it when that happens?)

"I HATE CHILDREN!"

Sprinting as fast as he could to the bathroom he turned the shower on, not waiting for it to warm up before jumping in and using whatever cleaning products Naruto had. After lathering and rinsing as many times as he could he jumped out of the shower and peeled off his damp clothes. Grabbing a nearby towel he hung it around his waist before stomping out of the bathroom, wet clothes in hand. Throwing them on the couch he turned back to the giggling baby and glared as hard as he could but it seem the infant was immune to it. Well on the bright side he only had a half and hour left.

Bringing up as much courage and dignity as he had, Sasuke made his way over to the changing table again. Fresh diaper in hand he quickly picked up the baby by the legs and placed the diaper underneath. But when he tried to hold the diaper together it just fell apart. Grumbling he fished some shinobi wire out of his waist pack and tied up the ends of either side. There, as least it was durable now.

How did Naruto stand this? He'd only been with the little monster less than an hour and already he'd probably messed up. How was it that the dead last was able to do something he couldn't? Albeit he wasn't daddy material, but still! He was the Uchiha prodigy; he should be able to do this. Hell, _Itachi_ was able to do this! His mother had always said Itachi had helped take care of him as a baby, even though he was not much older than a toddler himself. Was there some sort of ninjutsu for this? Or technique? He should've been able to copy it! Either there was something he was missing or Naruto would make the perfect wife…

Sasuke slammed his head on a table and groaned; now he had an image of Naruto in an apron in his head and it wouldn't go away!

"-astarb!'

Sasuke's head shot up.

"Dada bastarb!"

Bastarb? What the hell was a-

Oh no…

Oh no, no, no, no, NO!

Toppuu did NOT just do baby talk for bastard!

"Dada bastarb!"

He must be silenced!!!!

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!!"

Toppuu grinned before rolling off the couch onto the floor, successfully avoiding the fire balls. Crawling as fast as he could away from the now burning furniture Toppuu managed to avoid Sasuke until he was pulled up by his shirt.

"I have you now, it will be all too easy to kill you now that-"

"Toppuu-chan! I'm home!"

Naruto burst through the door but stopped dead once he saw Sasuke and Toppuu.

"**Uchiha Sasuke!** I can't believe you! I leave you alone for an hour, one hour and you've managed to destroy almost everything in my apartment and you've gotten Toppuu dirty! And you're only wearing a **TOWEL! **Now, what do you have to say for yourself?!"

There was silence.

"…He…started it?"

Another moment of silence.

"Since when did you start taking after Kakashi-sensei?!"

"It's not a lie, I swear!"

"Oh, and I suppose Toppuu can set everything in my apartment on fire, and you can't fire boy?!"

"Naruto you have to believe me!"

"Dada bastarb!"

….

"…Did he just?"

"No! No he didn't!"

"Dada basta-" The rest was muffled by Sasuke's hand.

…

"**SASUKE!!!!!!" **

KONOHA: TEN YEARS FROM NOW

"Do you remember looking after Toppuu the first time?"

"How could I ever forget it?"

"You never did tell me how you managed to burn my apartment down."

"And I told you it was Toppuu."

"What? Don't tell me you're still using that lie after so many years."

"But it's the truth."

"Suuuuure."

"You don't believe me?"

"Sasuke, he's barely a year old."

"And a year closer to the terrible twos."

"I don't see why you and Toppuu-chan just can't get along."

"He's an Uchiha, and Uchiha's don't share. Namely we don't share you very well."

"…So you're proud of him?"

"Damn straight."

/-----------------------/

LBH: Okay, one of the lines was inspired by the Labyrinth.

"And Hoggle, if she kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince."

"R-really?"

"Prince of the Land of Stench!"

Ah, I love that movie.

R/R


	4. Hum

LBH: Still slightly amazed over the amount of reviews. I would have updated sooner but I was bust since it was a holiday and stuff. Got to spend time with the _adorable_ little brats I call cousins… That was sarcasm. Thank you for all the reviews and thank you especially an anonymous reviewer mkh2 for sharing your experience babysitting and telling me how children properly pronounce bastard in baby talk. You'll have to forgive me; I've never actually heard a baby say bastard. But there was this one kid who called me an old hag and…well…he _sort of_ tripped. Oooh I can be so mean sometimes!

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. So…Any potential lawyers in the audience, back off! I have a…well I don't' really know what I have but I have some sort of weapon. So, stay back! **

**WARNING: Run for your lives! It's the beta-less authoress! …Ooooh say that five times fast! **

**/---------------------------------/**

CHAPTER THREE:

Hum

It was that time again, every few months the jounin instructors of every current genin team would have a group meeting with the Hokage and give a status report on the progress of the team. As was tradition the genin had the day off. Normally they took this time to meet with other teams and catch on old friendships, brag, and just talk.

For one reason or another, the rookies always met in a clearing often used for picnics just outside the training fields. Someone would be designated to bring food, and anything else that might be necessary.

And that is where we find team seven, plus Toppuu, today…

"They're late! If I didn't know better I'd say they're catching Kakashi's habits!"

This would be Ino, who was rather impatient about being held up from meeting Sasuke.

"You're too troublesome, I would completely understand if they skipped just to avoid the mess this gathering causes."

That was Shikamaru, who was now sporting a fairly large bump on his head courtesy of Ino.

Turning back down to Shikamaru, Ino opened her mouth in preparation of scolding her teammate again when team seven came walking in the clearing. Sakura came in first dragging Sasuke who was carrying a rather large bag over his shoulder.

"Hey Ino-pig! Did you miss me?"

"Miss you Ms. Billboard Head? I think not!"

"Better a billboard than a filthy animal."

"Oi where's Naruto?" Inquired Kiba suddenly.

"He's still back in the woods but I wouldn't-"

But before Sakura could finish her sentence Kiba had run off into the woods with Akamaru at his heels, probably to yell at the blonde haired boy for being late.

"Hey dead last! Why the hell- Owwwww! What the hell was- Owww owww owwwwwww! Stop hitting me!"

"Don't swear!"

"Oh yeah?! And what happens if I do? You going to sic the Uchiha Bastard on me?"

There was silence for a moment before Kiba came flying out of the bushes, landing roughly on the grass. Akamaru soon followed his master out, landing not quite so hard. Sitting up rapidly Kiba rubbed the back of his head where he had landed and glared at Naruto who had just come into the clearing.

"What was that for?!"

"I told you not to swear! Where did you grow up? A barn?"

"Since when does it matter?"

"Since I don't want you corrupting Toppuu."

"Toppuu? Who is Toppuu?"

"This is Toppuu."

Everyone looked to where Naruto motioned to the baby in his arms. Toppuu seemed completely oblivious to this as he was currently grasping Naruto's hand in his mouth and sucking happily. (When I was younger my mother told me I used to suck on other people's hands, never my own, but someone else's. Then again I was dropped on my head as a child…several times.)

Lee was the first to react.

"NARUTO-KUN! I SEE YOU HAVE GAINED A NEW YOUTHFUL COMPANION! MAY HIS YOUTHFUL FLAMES BURN BRIGHTLY!"

"Uh…Thanks Lee."

Kiba crept forward again, with Akamaru tucked safely into his coat. Sniffing the baby curiously. A smirk broke out over his face.

"Naruto you dog you! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"I know shinobi become parents early on in life but you break the record. Congratulations!"

Naruto sputtered for a second. "H-he's not mine! We're only watching him for a mission until we can find his parents!"

"Are you sure? He smells just like you, kinda like the woods and rain."

"I'm positive. But if you can smell him, maybe you can smell out his parents."

Kiba shrugged. "Sure, usually babies smell like their parents until they develop their own scents. Lesse… That other scent in there, smell like…" Kiba breathed in heavily before frowning. He glanced around the clearing until his gaze rested on Sasuke who was trying to look disinterested. But even he could see Sasuke's massive glare at the little boy in Naruto's arms. Ch, possessive Uchihas. It was weird though, the kid smelled just like him and Naruto. They looked alike too, and he smelled no other scents on the kid, unless… Well it'd probably be best not to say it out loud.

"Nope, sorry Naruto, I can't figure out the other scents on this little guy"

Naruto looked down for a second, before perking up.

"It doesn't matter, thanks for trying though."

Walking further into the clearing where the rest of the group was sitting, Naruto sat down on the picnic blanket next to Neji who looked at the baby with curiosity.

Meanwhile Sakura and Sasuke had also taken a seat on the blanket. Sasuke, who sitting down next to Shikamaru immediately turned his gaze to Naruto, noticing this Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Hm? What's with the intense gaze Sasuke? You can't be jealous of a baby can you?"

"I'm not jealous." Sasuke snapped quickly, a little too quickly in Shikamaru's eyes.

"Sure, and I like physical labor."

Shikamaru's jibe was only met with silence.

Sasuke refocused his attention back on the little bundle of pain and suffering. It was currently being passed around like some treasured object, and was now in Ino's arms.

"Wow Naruto, I didn't figure you to be the maternal type. You always seemed, how can I put this? Highly irresponsible. And where did you learn to take care of a baby anyway?"

Naruto looked stumped for a second.

"I…don't really know, it sort of just came to me. It's really weird now that you mention it."

"Maybe you were a housewife in a past life?"

"Ohhh yeah I can see it now, Naruto wearing a pink frilly apron taking care of hundreds upon hundreds of screaming brats!"

"Shut up Kiba!"

"Then who was the husband?"

Naruto looked blankly at Sakura.

"Let's think about this Sakura-chan."

"You're THINKING?!"

"Do we really want to know who the husband is?"

There was silence before a simultaneous "NO!" rang through the air.

"That's what I thought."

Suddenly Kiba grinned again. "Well whoever they were they must have had LOADS of stamina to keep up with you, _if you know what I mean._"

Naruto looked pale for a second before quickly covering Toppuu's ears. "You hurt Toppuu-chan's virgin ears Kiba! Repent! Repent I say!"

"Aw lighten up Naruto, it's not like he understands us."

"Well if I recall he remembered a certain _word_, which I rather he hadn't." Blue eyes turned to glare at Sasuke.

"Huh? What did Sasuke-kun do?"

"He – ''

"Bastuh!" (See beginning of chapter Authoress' notes for explanation. Thank you again mkh2! This sounds more accurate now!)

"See! He taught Toppuu-chan how to swear! Now he's going to have a potty mouth the rest of his life!"

At this point Sasuke scowled. "I didn't do anything, that brat learned that on his own."

The only reply he got was a swift smack to the back of the head.

"He's only a baby, how can it be his fault?"

Sasuke grumbled under his breath, "Because it's a demon baby."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Sasuke and Naruto continued to bicker lightly, or as lightly as possible considering the two were practically polar opposites. Everyone was so focused on the argument that Toppuu took this time to totter off slowly. Hinata took her gaze away from the bickering pair to look at the adorable little baby that shared Naruto's eyes. The boy was about an arms' length in front of her wobbling back and forth, on the verge of toppling over. Just as the small boy was about to fall Hinata caught him and gently placed the baby in her lap.

Large blue eyes looked up at Hinata curiously before the boy smiled proclaiming, "Aun Ina!" Happily. The shy girl blinked, that baby knew her name, although it was poorly pronounced it was her name none the less.

"O-okay then, I'll be your Auntie Hinata."

Toppuu smiled a wide grin at this and Hinata smiled kindly back. This little boy reminded her so much of Naruto. Down the eyes and wide grin. She was almost positive he would grow up to be just as brave as her crush. It was a little disappointing, she would probably never have the courage to tell Naruto though. It was best this way, she was coming to see Naruto as more of a friendly, brother type figure anyway. She would have more courage to face him this way if she thought of him like a brother rather than a potential romantic partner. She was only twelve anyway, who honestly knew their true love at this age?

Another hour or so had passed and the teams had eaten their share of lunch, Chouji's portion larger than the rest. Sasuke had just challenged Naruto to a spar and the blonde was about the say yes when he spotted Toppuu who was desperately trying to keep his eyes open.

"Not now Sasuke."

"Fine then –what? What do you mean not now dead last? We haven't sparred in days."

"Toppuu's tired."

"…Then he can sleep through the spar."

"No he should sleep properly on a bed."

"What? Are you afraid to spar?"

"No!"

"Then fight with me!"

"Not now Sasuke, besides its getting dark out and taking care of Toppuu isn't exactly the most relaxing thing in the world, I'm tired too!"

"Hn, fine, I don't need to spar with a weakling like you anyway."

Naruto sighed a wearily massaged his temples. Walking towards Hinata he gently picked up the now asleep baby and smiled at the Hyuuga heiress.

"Thank you for watching Toppuu for me Hinata-chan. It's good to have someone else to watch him, since Sasuke is completely incapable of doing anything remotely useful around babies. He even managed to set my apartment on fire, but lucky we fixed it, Pyro freak that he is."

Hinata giggled slightly at Naruto's comment of 'Pyro Freak.' That described Sasuke all right. "I-it was no p-problem Naruto-kun. I can w-watch over him anytime if you need me to." Hinata replied softly.

Nodding the blonde walked out of the clearing with Toppuu nestled in his arms, the baby's head resting on his shoulder.

By this time almost everyone had left the clearing, heading towards their respective homes except for Sasuke who was staring after where his normally hyperactive teammate left. Naruto seemed tired today. Automatically assuming it was that blasted baby's fault he followed after.

After arriving at his apartment Naruto placed Toppuu in his crib and just as he was about the flop down on his own bed he heard a loud cry. Wincing slightly he ran quickly back on the other room and picked up a crying Toppuu. Sighing softly he checked the baby over for anything that could have been wrong but found nothing. Still wailing, but not quite so loudly now, Toppuu looked up Naruto with watery eyes.

"Oh don't cry Toppuu-chan, what's wrong huh?"

"Ong Mommy!"

"…Thong, don't tell me you're becoming another Jiraiya!?"

"Ong!"

"Oh…OH you mean song! You want me to sing you a song."

Naruto felt rather proud of himself for deciphering the baby code but then he remembered that he didn't know any songs. He didn't have a mother that looked after him when he was little so there was no one to sing him anything.

"Um…well Toppuu I don't know any songs…"

When Toppuu still continued to cry, Naruto panicked slightly.

"Well, um why don't I try to…hum something for you then?"

Trying desperately to think of any melody he knew Naruto decided on something he had heard when he was younger. Once when he had hidden in a tree from the villagers he saw a mother humming a soft tune to her crying baby, he didn't know why but he could always remember the exact tune, it was slow with calming notes. Deciding this would be best course of action Naruto tried humming as best he could.

Gently rocking Toppuu back and forth until the baby quieted and fell asleep once again, Naruto stopped humming and placed the boy back in his crib. Quietly sneaking back into his bed he gave one last wide yawn before falling asleep as well.

Sasuke watched this whole process with a slight smile on his face. While he had intended to barge in there and brutally murder the brat with a kunai, the sight of Naruto humming brought a sort of peace over him…The dead last really did make a good mother it seemed. It also made him a little depressed when he thought of his own mother who couldn't sing for her life, so she had hummed instead. It wasn't the best of humming either but he had thought it was most beautiful thing he had ever heard, after all, he only a baby then.

Seeing this now he realized why Naruto was so tired, despite how well behaved in public Toppuu was for most people, it seemed he had a sleeping problem, thus keeping Naruto up all night with him. The lack of sleep would get to anyone. Leaping away from the balcony he silently promised that he'd try to help more with the baby tomorrow…Even if he hated that no good brat.

KONOHA: TEN YEARS FROM NOW

Yawning loudly, Naruto laid back comfortably into his human pillow, aka Sasuke.

"Hm? Glad to finally get a night's peace Naruto?"

"Yeah, although I love Toppuu-chan, he just can't sleep the night through."

"Nope."

"…I bet he gets his insomnia from you, you bat freak."

"Why am I always a freak? First I'm a pyro freak and now I'm a bat freak."

"But you're a handsome freak."

"True."

"Ego maniac."

"Yes, well I do have a lot of things to be proud about."

"Oh?"

"I'm a great shinobi, I'm married to the Hokage, said Hokage happens to be beautiful, I have a wonderful yet annoying son, I'm good looking, and I'm the only one who can boast about having the most kinky sexual conquests ever, after all, I can name all the places where we've done it and which people have seen us."

"Uggg" Naruto rested his face in his hands. "Must you remind me of that? What if we were ever attacked and I couldn't help because you were having your way with me?"

"You never complain. Speaking of which…With Toppuu gone…"

"Don't say, don't you even THINK about it!"

"Well then…."

With swift movements Sasuke had Naruto pinned under him.

"What did I just say?!"

"You _said_ not to say it, or think about it, so I'm acting upon it."

"Smartass."

"The perks of being a genius."

"…I hate you."

"I love you too."

/-------------------------------/

LBH: Awww, didn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy with the humming thing? …Yeah made me wanna hurl too. Just kidding, anyway this sort of reminded me about when my mum used to sing to me when I was little, I thought she had a beautiful voice then…But I hear her sing now and it's like nails on a chalkboard… And people were saying I gave away Toppuu's origins to soon, well that may be true…But pretty much everyone who reviewed had figured it out already. (Not that it was difficult to find out.) So I didn't see the point of not putting in the future flashes, since they amuse me so much.

R/R


	5. Daddy Part I

LBH: I finally have some free time! Thank you for all the reviews, I know this story isn't deep or depressing, but I can't write like that, probably because when I try to write like that I think too much and it hurts my head, just call me a simpleton! It makes life _oh so much _simpler. Not I'm eternally happy, I just write when I'm in happy moods!

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, I make no profit off this, I write for fun really. **

**WARNING: Yaoi/GASP/ Oh the _SCANDAL! _Bad grammar/spelling and weird situations. **

**/-----------------------------/**

CHAPTER FOUR: 

Daddy Part I

Well this was a problem Naruto had foreseen. It was only natural after all, Toppuu couldn't be attached to him forever, in fact he wouldn't mind a day's break, and he could finally sleep peacefully. The question was _who_ would make a suitable "Daddy."

Normally he would have taken this chance to give Toppuu to Hinata, they seemed to share some sort of bond. And why did she get to be Auntie when he got stuck with Mommy? Shaking his head Naruto got back on track. Earlier that morning Toppuu had done something he had never done before, instead of calling for him as usual he called for "Daddy." Now the problem, as he had mentioned before, whom exactly was Daddy?

Walking onto the bridge where Team Seven met, he immediately passed Toppuu to Sakura who looked at him in bemusement.

"Getting tired Naruto?"

A grumble was her only reply as Naruto was currently slumped to the ground with deep bags under his eyes.

"That bad?"

Another grumble.

"What Toppuu-chan needs is another parental figure."

A third grumble that sounded suspiciously like "ask" and "daddy."

"Ah, so he asked for his father this morning. What are you going to do?"

Finally lifting his head up marginally to look Sakura in the eye, "I honestly don't know, I think I might just hold Toppuu out and wait until he proclaims someone daddy."

Sakura nodded, "Yes, that might be best if he picked is new 'father' himself."

Nodding blearily Naruto straightened himself into a sitting position against one of the beams of the bridge and closed his eyes tiredly; Kakashi wouldn't be here for another few hours anyway.

It wasn't long before Sasuke casually made his way onto the bridge where Sakura had Toppuu in her lap playing little hand games with the baby. Naruto appeared to be asleep against the side of the bridge.

Before he could even think about opening his mouth, Toppuu's eyes strayed to him before loudly exclaiming "Daddy!"

Now if this scene didn't seem familiar he didn't know what did.

Quickly looking over to see if his blonde haired friend, he let out a relived sigh, Naruto was still asleep. Spinning on his heel he prepared his fiercest glare but kept his face neutral when he remembered the promise he'd made for himself last night. He promised that he'd help, and from the looks of it, Naruto needed the sleep badly.

A wide smile spread over Sakura's face as she held Toppuu out to her darker teammate. "Well Sasuke-kun, Naruto told me that Toppuu's been crying out for a daddy all morning and it seems you've been nominated." Toppuu giggled in agreement and held out his arms. This made Sasuke suspicious, normally that baby wouldn't touch him even with a five meter pole (Normally I'd use feet but since most people go by metric, I'll use that instead. That's fifteen feet otherwise.) And the fact that not only was the baby reaching out to him, he was giggling AND smiling, not good signs. But he'd do this, he was an Uchiha, he was a survivor, but the last time he tried to take care of the thing he'd managed to set Naruto's apartment of fire… This did not bode well…

Delicately taking Toppuu out of Sakura's arms he was relieved when it didn't scream outright. Maybe this was a good sign?

"See Sasuke-kun? All Toppuu needed was time to get used to you!"

"Hn."

He was even more surprised when Toppuu laid his head on his chest and yawned before almost instantly falling asleep. Looking up from Toppuu to Naruto, he noticed suddenly how alike they looked when they were asleep, although Naruto's eyelashes were golden instead of Toppuu's obsidian black. Sasuke's brow wrinkled now this was unusual, he was only just now realizing how similar this baby was to him and Naruto… He narrowed his eyes, where had this baby _come_ from?

Before he could ponder further, Kakashi appeared in front of him with a smile, or at least what appeared to be a smile

"Finally taking responsibility Sasuke?"

"For what?"

"Now really, it's a big responsibility being a father, that and you hold all responsibilities for making the _mother_ pregnant. And you do know what that implies? Tsk, tsk Sasuke, not using protection?"

Immediately a bright red settled over Sasuke's face and he sputtered incoherently. The images that just flowed into his head were enough to…Well he'd rather not think about it, he was only twelve for heaven's sake! But really thinking about it didn't seem so bad…

"Idiot jounin, why would I ever do something like that!"

Still smiling Kakashi placed a hand on Sasuke head and twisted the boy's head to see Naruto.

"Come; come now Sasuke, you can't _not_ tell me that's the most adorable thing you've ever seen? That jacket hides a lot, I'm sure he'll grow up beautifully. Better stake your claim now."

"Why would I ever like the dead last?!"

"Hm…that same reason you do now. Shame on you Sasuke, not telling your favorite sensei, you wound me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"We'll see a few years from now, you'll be begging for my help then."

"Ch, as if that would happen."

Moving away Kakashi looked over the rest of his team to see Sakura reading a scroll, long ago having given up on trying to talk to him when he was focused on Sasuke, and Naruto was still sleeping deeply with a small smile on his lips.

"Well since we still have this mission, and Naruto needs his rest Toppuu will go with Sasuke for the day and Sakura you are free to do as you please while I take Naruto back to his apartment."

Reaching down Kakashi picked Naruto up from his sleeping position into a bridle style hold in Kakashi's arms. Jumping away to the nearest roof he disappeared within moments.

Seeing Sasuke's pensive look Sakura decided to forgo he usually routine of asking Sasuke out and headed straight back to the village, maybe she and Ino could go shopping?

Sasuke stood where he was looking down at the sleeping baby before he too walking off to his home at the Uchiha district. After reaching his destination Sasuke sat on cushion on the back porch overlooking the backyards that doubled as training fields.

The meddlesome baby was still asleep in his arms; it seemed that Naruto wasn't the only one who was tired from Toppuu's inability to sleep. Finally getting a chance to look over the baby up close he noticed some startling things about his appearance.

As it was noted before, Toppuu's eyes looked nearly identical; in his opinion though he thought Naruto's eyes were much brighter. They were the same color of sky blue but Naruto's seemed to have more depth to them. Although it couldn't be certain at this age, the boy's face seemed to be about the same facial structure as his, he actually was starting to feel sorry for the kid, if he grew up looking like him then he'd have to deal with fan girls the rest of his life. Another thing he noticed was the boy's hair, it was the same shade of black as his but it seemed to have more life, sort of like Naruto's hair that went out in every direction. (Naruto's hair actually looks pretty when he's not wearing the leaf headband, like during the third's funeral, in my opinion) Over all the boy seemed to be the perfect mix of him and Naruto, and that was odd, boys can't get pregnant and that's the only way this baby could look so much like them but what was even odder was that the image of him getting Naruto pregnant…Didn't bother him.

KONOHA: FOUR YEARS FROM NOW

"I knew you would come Sasuke! I told you all those years ago."

Sasuke only glared at his once teacher, now that he was a jounin, they were of equal rank, but that still didn't stop the man from treating him like a child, he was sixteen and perfectly capable of taking care of himself… But as much as he hated to admit it, he needed help, and what was another great wound to his pride was that Kakashi had even predicted all this four years ago.

His sensei had been right; Naruto had eventually given up the dreadful orange outfit, with a little forceful persuasion from Sakura, who could no longer stand the eyesore of an outfit, forcing him into black sleeveless shirt with a sort of turtle neck cut with fishnet underneath, navy blue shinobi pants that were wrapped up with shinobi tape from the shin down, standard shinobi footwear, his jounin vest, and his headband tied around his neck. Naruto had protested to this at first because he claimed his hair fell into his eyes but Sakura would have nothing of it and made him grow it out a little even. And with this new outfit, Naruto wasn't so ignored anymore, and it was taking away his time with Sasuke, which made Sasuke less than pleased.

After the incident with Toppuu, Sasuke and Naruto had become better friends, before Sasuke finally developed hormones and was entered into the wonderful world of adult fantasies. And it had been no surprise when had ended up with a few a delightful dreams filled with a lithe golden skinned body, pink swollen lips, and the most erotic sounding moan he had ever heard. It wasn't long for the truth to swell up inside him, he had cherished Naruto because of his personality before, and now that they were older…Well Naruto's new appearance was an extra bonus, so really he should have expected to fall in love, but well sometimes ignorance is bliss.

This would have been no problem, he suspected Naruto might feel the same way, but with all the new attention and a few stalkers Naruto seemed to have abandoned all thoughts of a romantic relationship with anyone, with all the focus on his looks Naruto couldn't be sure who liked him for who he was, and that's what Naruto had always wanted the most, being acknowledged for who he was, not a demon or some sex desire.

Despite his efforts, Naruto seemed determined to forget that the concepts of dating, courtship, and marriage ever existed.

That's when he turned to Kakashi… If anyone knew anything it had to be him, after all, if he could make the village's greatest prude go along with public displays of affection, he must know how to make Naruto look at him as more than a friend.

"You know what I want Kakashi."

"Hmmmm I don't think I do, what was it again you needed Sasuke?"

There was a grumble.

Kakashi held a hand up to his ear and leaned his head towards Sasuke's direction.

"What was that? I seem to have temporarily gone deaf so you'll need to repeat that for me, and speak louder this time."

With gritted teeth Sasuke spoke again.

"I need your help."

"Help with what Sasuke? I can't read minds."

"With Naruto."

"And why would you need help with him? You ARE best friends right, you should know Naruto better than anyone."

"You know what I mean."

"I'm afraid I don't Sasuke."

"Fine! I need your help because the dead last won't think of me as more than a friend! I can't stand those village idiots looking at him like he's some piece of meat, I was his friend first, I was there for him first, he should be mine right now, and then everything would be right with the world and I would have the right to chain him to the bed and-Don't even think about it Kakashi!"

"Awww, why'd you stop Sasuke? That was such a pleasant mental image."

"I don't need you thinking anything more than teacher bonds with Naruto."

"Mah, don't be stupid Sasuke, I have a lover, you know that."

"That doesn't stop you from being a pervert."

"You know me so well."

"Well can you help me or not?"

"Hmm…I do believe I can. It's gradual but it worked with Iruka." (I admit it! I'm a KakaIru shipper! And I LIKE it! HA!)

"So are you going to tell me what to do then?"

"Yes, hold on…" Kakashi paused, rifling through the interior of his jounin vest before pulling out a large scroll.

"I made it just for this occasion. It's perfect; I had years to plan and perfect it after all."

Kakashi spread the scroll out on the tree stump in front of him, as they were meeting in a far off, practically abandoned training ground where no one could hear or see them.

Sasuke looked down at the scroll then turned a blank stare at Kakashi.

"I had Jiraiya-sama do the pictures, they are too your liking?"

"The fact that he got them so accurate…Concerns me, do I need to hurt him?'

"No! I mean…Naruto just spent a lot of time training with Jiraiya-sama and of course after training you go to the springs and…yeah."

'Then these pictures please me."

The scroll had step by step directions to Kakashi's plan, with included pictures of the results. In the top corner of the scroll was the title, "The SasuNaru Plan" with a very detailed little picture underneath of Sasuke pinning a scantily clad Naruto into a wall.

He couldn't wait for that picture to come true…

"Let's begin…So here's the plan Sasuke…"

/--------------------------------/

LBH:…I can't believe it…Me, of all people, just did a _cliff hanger_ sort of thing just now… Wicked. Since there is two parts to this chapter, the future flash in this chapter (Which is only 4 years this time.) is split into two parts as well. I would have written more but I just can't think of anything right now, and I keep thinking of the Fan Boys trailer, I want to see that movie when it comes out… "A uh...Light Saber battle went wrong when I was a child."

R/R


	6. Daddy Part II

LBH: Well, another chapter up. Typing was a little slow since I was out shopping for a sketchbook. (Despite everything I'm a pretty good artist, but I don't have an account to post any pictures…) My extreme clumsiness reared its ugly head and I managed to knock over a stack of sketchbooks and I had to pick them up by hand, causing massive paper cuts on the tips of my finger. Sad, isn't it?

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, all rights go to the wonderful creator of the series, and I only own Toppuu. **

**WARNING: Boy love, mentions of mpreg. Nothing too extreme, I'm trying to keep this rating decent, they are only twelve…for the first half of the chapter anyway. Bad grammar and spelling. **

**/------------------------/**

CHAPTER FIVE: 

Daddy Part II

Naruto was going to kill him. There was noting more to it.

NARUTO was GOING to KILL **HIM!**

What kind of shinobi was he anyway? He can't even keep track of a baby, a baby who could hardly walk, a baby whose main vocabulary consisted of the word "mommy," a baby who had no shinobi skills whatsoever, (Sasuke was blatantly disregarding the fire ninjutsu disaster.) a baby who was now God knows where! He looked away for one minute, just the one, and the kid had vanished. And this was reason why…

Naruto was going to kill him.

Had this been any previous date he wouldn't have worried, Naruto was a very caring guy, more emotional than most, but an overall nice guy. He would never suspect Naruto to be the vicious type, but he was proven wrong when the baby came into play. Naruto must have gotten the mother hen act from Iruka; there was nothing else to explain the irrational behavior from the blonde.

But moving our thoughts back to the problem at hand, Toppuu was missing, he had until Naruto woke up to find him.

Suddenly Sasuke's confidence was brought up a notch; the kid was just that, a kid. He'd find him in no time flat.

Sasuke obviously underestimated the prowess of any child who wanted to play "Hide and Seek."

Sasuke sat down for a moment, Toppuu seemed barely twelve months old, he had just learned how to walk, and he couldn't possibly have left the Uchiha Complex yet, besides all this walking on Toppuu's part would tire the child out easily. Deciding the yard was the first place he should look, it had many flower beds, which was enough to intrigue anyone.

While Sasuke was on his hands and knees in the dirt, Toppuu had just left the complex and had entered the market. This wasn't an extremely long distance considering that the market was right next to the Uchiha Complex.

Standing up on unsteady legs Toppuu slowly tottered his way into the busy market. Tilting his head curiously from side to side he observed the great shops and the colorful people, well it all seemed amazing to him at least. He could remember coming here while in his mother's arms, his father standing proudly next to them. Everyone had smiled at him and patted his head happily; he saw no reason for it to be any different now. Only this time he lacked his parents, and although this scared him for a moment his curiosity overcame him.

Looking up at a vendor cart Toppuu made to take a step towards it, but misbalanced his weight and fell forward, only to be caught by two hands. Looking up he noticed the face of a brown haired girl whose hair was tied back in a white cloth. Her brown eyes looked at him with bewilderment but then she smiled at him. He knew this girl; she was the one who always brought his mommy those long food things. (He means noodles, ramen to be exact.)

"Now what is a child like you doing out in the middle of the market?" Glancing around Ayame tried locating anyone who seemed to missing a child. Seeing no one she went back to the cart and sat down next to her good friend who was running said cart.

"What's that you got there Ayame-chan?"

"Well I just found this little boy wandering around the market. He must have gotten separated from his parents, your cart is out in the open so I figured that if his parents walk by they'll be able to spot him. Maybe he'll attract customers, eh Ree?"

"Are you insulting my beautiful works of art?"

Ayame just sighed and turned to look at her rather odd friend, an artist by trade who wore a simple forest green gi top and brown pants that went down just past the knees and high heels with many straps. Her dark brown hair went to her shoulders in layers and always seemed to fall into her gray eyes. Waving her hands, all her fingers donned in plain silver rings, towards her cart she waited for Ayame to speak again.

"Of course not."

"See these hands?" Her friend held up both hands in front of Ayame's face. "These hands make master pieces!"

"Or catastrophes…"

Grumbling the other girl sat back down and crossed her arms over her chest. "I burn something once, just ONCE and you can't let it go…"

Ignoring her friend's rambling she set the child down where he proceeded the wander around.

Now Sasuke was worried, but only just. Toppuu wasn't in the garden, he wasn't in the house, and he'd checked everyplace at least twice. By now the kid could've made his way to the market…The market! He could check the market. Channeling chakra into is legs Sasuke made a great leap and made his ways across the roofs to the village market. Looking down he made a point of looking towards the crowd's feet as that was where Toppuu's height lay. He was about to give up and move on when he heard a cry followed by loud laughter. Jumping to the scene he saw a small circle of shop owners surrounding Toppuu while two girls were desperately trying to break through the ring of people.

"So this is the demon spawn, who else could this kid belong to except him? Not much is he?"

"You'd expect a demon to be tougher. I thought demons didn't cry."

Sasuke jumped down to get closer to see Toppuu sitting on the ground, his knees were scraped and the palms of his little hands were covered his cuts and gravel, a stream of tears falling from his eyes as he whimpering softly.

Quickly reacting, Sasuke leapt down into the middle of the small circle and gathered the crying Toppuu into his arms. The shop owners seemed aghast and one made to say something but was silenced by Sasuke's menacing glare. Walking out of the circle he nodded to the two girls and leapt back up to the roofs. Many more bounds later they came back to the complex and he opened the door and placed Toppuu on the kitchen table top. Grabbing his first aid kit Sasuke placed it next to the sink and brought Toppuu to the sink's edge. Rinsing out a cloth he tried cleaning Toppuu's scraped knees as gently as he could before grabbing a bottle of disinfectant. Dabbing a small amount onto a cotton ball he placed a hand on Toppuu's head.

"This is going to sting for a little bit, you're going to have to be strong for me, can you do that?"

Toppuu didn't reply but cling to Sasuke's shirt tighter. Taking this time Sasuke dabbed the cotton ball onto the bloody area causing a small hiss to come from the boy's mouth. After waiting a while he wrapped a roll of bandages around the knee and repeated the process on Toppuu's other knee and hands. When he was finished the boy looked up at him and smiled even though there were still tears in his eyes. "I wove you daddy."

Blinking Sasuke awkwardly ruffled the small boy's hair. Walking to the porch with the boy cuddled into his shirt they say looking at the sunset until the stars came out. Toppuu unfortunately seemed wide awake still.

"I think it's time you go to sleep."

"Nuh uh, wan mommy."

Sasuke blinked again, he had never heard a twelve month old speak a complete thought before but he shrugged it off, it wasn't uncommon for prodigies like this to show up, take his brother for example… Of course he went insane and slaughtered the entire clan…Okay bad example.

Sasuke was about to reply with a stern no but the brat just looked up at him and his lip began to quiver.

"Alright, alright we'll go see mommy but if he's sleeping when we get there don't wake him up."

Again taking off to the roofs Sasuke made his way to Naruto's apartment in record time. Going in through the open window the Uchiha made his way to the small bedroom where Naruto was sleeping on his side in a black tank top and a pair of orange boxers. Now if only Naruto could be that quiet when he was awake…But then again he wouldn't be Naruto if he wasn't loud.

The peaceful image was shattered when Toppuu squirmed his way out if the black haired boy's arms and attempted to make his way up on top of the bed but didn't make it more that a few steps before falling on his bum but he picked himself up and trying again, managing to make another step. Smirking at the boy's attempt, it wouldn't be a full day unless he smirked; Sasuke picked the boy up and placed him onto the bed.

The change of weight on the bed's mattress caused Naruto to half wake up. Blearily looking around Naruto's gaze rested on Toppuu who had by now curled up into his "mommy's" side.

"Toppuu-chan…shouldn't you be sleeping on your own?"

"Don wanna…"

"Alright then…just for tonight." Kissing the top of Toppuu's head and pulling a blanket up around the boy he turned to Sasuke.

"Thanks for watching him."

"Ch, it was easy." Lie, outright LIE!

"Right…if you say so. If you want you can sleep here tonight... Just…flop down anywhere I guess." Making a great yawn Naruto wrapped a protective arm around Toppuu and fell back asleep.

Sasuke watched for a moment…Had he been Sakura this would have been…Cute. It was a little cute even for him… Lying back across the bed he rested his head on Naruto's side. He'd been a "father" for the first time in his life; he deserved a decent pillow…

(…Never let me listen to 'Memory' from Cats EVER again while writing fanfics…)

KONOHA: FOUR YEARS FROM NOW

The plan….

"Now Sasuke, the plan is simple. Most relationships start with attraction to appearances, as sad as that is, so to start getting Naruto's attention try to make yourself as appealing as possible. Naruto should be unintentionally drawn to small factors such as, 'Oh Sasuke has a nice ass today,' or something of that effect. This helps him keep his mind solely on you."

Sasuke nodded, that was understandable. He looked down at the scroll to see a picture of himself walking down the street with a Naruto sketch behind him ogling at his behind, drool and all.

"The next step is just being in his presence, spend time with him. He should take attention to the finer points of your personality with this, and with the physical attraction in place he may start thinking more love based thoughts instead of friend thoughts."

The picture included with this step was just simply Sasuke and Naruto walking down the street talking casually.

"Casual touches next. Start slowly, an 'accidental' brush once in a while. Should you _fall_ on top of him that is a definite bonus. Perhaps you'll get lucky and someone will knock you into each other again and you'd get another kiss. And look! Jiraiya-sama even drew a picture of that exact scene. Someone must have taken a picture."

You all know what this picture looks like.

"Now, once a firm crush is established, you ask to go out into public places together. This moves onto more romantic scenery like walks on the beach or something…"

"Kakashi…we have no beaches here."

"You'll have to use your imagination Sasuke! Work with me here!"

Rolling his eyes Sasuke just looked down at another picture of him and Naruto leaning into each other while sitting under a blooming cherry blossom tree.

"Then you finally ask for the date. This progresses to hugs, snuggling, and all that fluffy goodness."

More picture cuddling, yay!

"Next! The kissing with the occasional grope and tongue usage."

So far he liked this picture best, now if only he could really take a fistful of that beautiful–

"Think about that later Sasuke."

What? He was going to think hair! Really he was! Really, why don't you– Okay alright he was going to say ass. Bad Sasuke.

"Now comes an even better part, foreplay. We don't know how Naruto feels about going all the way so stick with everything before that. When you've finally confessed all that you love each other, never leave each other blah, blah, blah then you can go full out, and when you do…" Kakashi's sole eye curved into a smile. "When you do I'll make sure to buy you some fun _toys._"

Let's just say Naruto would only look better if he was actually in chains.

Kakashi rolled up the scroll and handed it to the Uchiha.

"Remember to take this at a steady pace, not too fast or slow. Being too rushed would pressure Naruto and too slow then you'll only frustrate yourselves."

Grabbing Sasuke's shoulders he turned the boy around and gave him a shove.

"Now off you go!"

"…Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

Sasuke turned and pointed in the opposite direction of which he was facing.

"Konoha's _that _way."

"…I knew that."

/----------------------------/

LBH:…Not too pleased with this chapter. If was all fluffy and heart warming… I must be sick… But if that stuff floats your boat…Good for you!

R/R


	7. Interlude: Where Babies Come From

LBH: Alright, happy holidays everyone. Sorry I didn't update but I got a bunch of DVD's. …And no one would watch FMA Conqueror of Shamballa with me! Most of my friends haven't seen all the episodes of the FMA series so they didn't get it and ran out screaming! So…In my immense sadness I watched it alone… Well technically I was with a cat, but that cat's a pervert anyways…

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, I own Toppuu. **

**WARNING: Not an actual chapter, just a holiday interlude. (You had no idea how many times I had to type 'holiday' before I got it right…) Yaoi, mentions of m-preg, general silliness, and the grammar monsters from down bellow. **

/-------------------------------/

INTERLUDE: 

Where Babies Come From

"Daddy, where did I come from?"

Sasuke stared down at his son with an expressionless face and the gaze was returned with curious bright eyes.

"…The same place babies come from."

"Where do babies come from?"

"….Ask your mother."

"You always say that!"

"I don't care, ask your mother."

Sasuke watched with a certain fondness as his puffed his cheeks in annoyance and stomped off to find his "mommy." Truth be told, he was the one who had encouraged Toppuu to call Naruto mommy was a baby. Of course, Naruto didn't know this or he'd be on the couch for quite some time. Toppuu was currently four years old and very articulate for someone his age. He knew Toppuu was advanced for his age but he didn't think he'd ask the question yet. Sasuke _really_ didn't want to be the one to explain the birds and the bees. It's not that he didn't think his son was ready, but the fact that his son would figure out he'd done all those things to make a baby with Toppuu's beloved mother. Then Toppuu would try to make an even greater effort to keep Naruto's attention.

Toppuu was such a mama's boy…

But Sasuke would never tell him that, Toppuu took it as an offence to his mother and the little brat could be vicious.

Shrugging Sasuke lay back down on the grass and returned to his cloud watching. It wasn't that he particularly liked clouds; the sky just reminded him of Naruto.

--------------

"Mommy! Daddy won't answer my question!"

Naruto looked up from his paperwork to see Toppuu dash in through the door. He barely managed to put his pen down when the small boy tackled himself into the blonde. Naruto smiled and absently ran his fingers through Toppuu's already messy black hair.

"And what question was that?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Naruto blinked for a moment before laughing out loud. Taking the Hokage's hat off his head he placed it on Toppuu's head.

"Hey!" The small boy pouted and pushed the hat away so it didn't fall over his eyes.

"And why do you want to know where babies come form?"

A mumble.

"What was that? You'll have you speak clearly Toppuu-chan."

"I wan' a little brother."

"A brother? Why not a sister?"

"Cause girls are icky!"

"But you like Sakura-chan don't you?"

"But she's different! She can punch through walls just like TsunTsun!"

"I'll never understand why you insist on calling Tsunade TsunTsun."

"It sounds better! Hey, don't change the subject!"

"So why do you want a brother then?"

"Cause my friend has a little brother and he says it's great. Being an only child is boring!" (...Having two siblings of my own, I have no idea if this is true.)

"Boring! You mean _I'm_ boring?"

"No! Mommy is never boring, but daddy is."

Naruto smirked slightly. "That he is."

"I heard that."

Naruto glanced over to the side while Toppuu gasped in surprise, almost falling off his mother's lap. Sasuke stood right next to the Hokage's chair with amusement in his eyes.

"But you are!"

"I'm sure your mother knows otherwise."

Toppuu looked up in confusion while Naruto blushed heavily and smacked Sasuke on the back of the head.

"You see, your mother is in denial at my creativity."

"That's not creativity, that's perversion!"

"Two words Naruto, maid outfit."

Naruto scowled. "Fine your father can be fun, in his own way I suppose."

"That's better."

Toppuu looked on in confusion before tugging on Naruto's Hokage robes.

"So can I have a little brother or not?!"

Sasuke looked shocked for a moment, before smirking. "I don't know Toppuu, being a brother is a big responsibility."

"I can so it!"

"I'm not saying you can't be a brother, but taking care of your mother will be an even bigger job."

"Why?"

"Well your mother has to raise the baby and help it grow until you can officially become a big brother."

"Ohhhhhhhhh…"

Naruto groaned, he'd have to go through_ it_ again. Nine months, nine months of torture! But looking at Toppuu always made it worth it.

"But I still don't know where babies come from."

As Sasuke laughed Naruto let his head slam on his desk.

"Mommy?"

It was going to be another long, _long_, nine months.

/---------------------/

LBH: Okay, it was short, but it was something I wanted to do. And um…If anyone could give me some ideas on the next chapter I'd be delighted at the help. AKA HELP ME!

R/R


	8. Jump Around

LBH: First update of the New Year, so happy New Year people. Thank you all so much for your help, I was in a writer's slump. And a reviewer asked about the birds and the bees… As I believe it is just an American thing…I can honestly say as an American, I have no idea WHY we call it the birds and the bees. I never got the "talk" anyway, learned it in health class. Hope none of you are American haters or anything, I completely understand, we can be a damn annoying country when we want to be. Now, on to typing as I eat my wonderful peanut butter and raspberry fluff sandwich, there is just something appealing about pink in food…

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, or any of its characters. I own Toppuu. **

**WARNING: Slash, general fuzziness, spelling and grammar, random plot lines. **

**/--------------------------/**

CHAPTER SIX: 

Jump Around

KONOHA: FOUR YEARS FROM NOW

Step One:

If at all possible, this had to be one of the weirdest days of Naruto's life. He'd never seen Sasuke smile so many times, EVER. The pair had agreed to train together some time ago and they were casually making their way back from to training grounds for some lunch. Normally Sasuke attracted stares as it was but this was getting a little ridiculous, they were not staring, they were gawking, gawking with drool and hearts in their eyes, the occasional nosebleed being well hid.

Turning his head to see what all the fuss was about blue eyes narrowed to inspect what was different about his friend today. Sasuke's clothes seemed kind of tight, as if they were several sizes too small. Maybe Sasuke had a bad laundry day and this was all he had to wear. Shrugging Naruto continued walking, why people chose to drool over too small clothes he'd never know. But as he came to the Ichiraku Ramen stand his thoughts immediately halted as he ordered his usual meal. Though he did wonder what all the smiling was about…

Sasuke cursed under his breath, it didn't work! At best Naruto seemed concerned that something was wrong with his washing machine. He'd picked some of his tighter clothes so as to leave less to the imagination. He'd attracted everyone's gaze but Naruto's. Damn!

A few days later Naruto looked up at Sasuke from his place under the tree with a raised brow. Today instead of tight clothes, Sasuke's seemed to be donned in fewer clothes, and he had shorts on instead of the usual shinobi pants. Where was the sense in that? Those pants had a protective layer against external attacks. Maybe Sasuke was just extremely warm…

After finishing their training Sasuke walked away with yet another scowl. Nothing, again NOTHING! If anything Naruto thought it was stupid to not wear protective pants and had proved that by aiming for his legs the entire work out. He'd have to try something else; maybe Naruto preferred a hansom face instead of body?

"What's with your hair Sasuke?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's the point of the nice hair, it'll just get messy. And you smell kinda weird today; did you get a bottle of cologne dumped on you?"

"…Shut up dead last."

"Don't call me that bastard!"

Apparently Naruto didn't go for that either…

Sasuke tried the same tactic for several more weeks, but to no avail. He was ready to give up when he noticed Naruto staring at him one day. And it wasn't because of his looks apparently. Naruto was keeping a keen eye on…the way he moved when they fought. Though he never thought about it, he guessed he did move rather gracefully. He should have known better, Naruto always did like to express things through movement, he must have liked to smoothness he presented.

Looking up Sasuke caught the blonde's eye and smirked. Naruto immediately blushed and scuffled away as fast as he could.

Huh, maybe this plan of Kakashi's would work out after all.

(Although I don't really like having relationships with people, I like to look at the way people walk, I like looking at people who walk smoothly…Don't ask me why…I thought it would fit Naruto for some reason, to notice something that would occur in a fight.)

KONOHA: PRESENT

"No, no Sasuke, like this."

Tan hands covered pale ones, guiding their movements.

This _would _have been romantic…Had they not been changing diapers.

"See Sasuke, you wrap it around like this than fasten the sides, but don't make it too tight or too lose."

"Why am I doing this again?"

"Because you volunteered to! And don't you want to rebuild your clan? You'll have to face it someday, better learn these things before it's too late."

"Hn…"

"Heh, you just say that because you know I'm right."

All Naruto got was a glare in response.

To which Naruto stuck his tongue out in return.

"Now let's see what else we need to learn." Naruto tapped his chin in thought then snapped his fingers. "I got it!"

"What must I learn now?"

"How about feeding Toppuu?"

"He's a baby, how hard is it to feed him?"

Sasuke came out of the kitchen ten minutes later, face covered in apple sauce. Growling he forced a spoon into Naruto's hand. "Fine, teach me."

Naruto smiled, "I knew you'd see it my way."

Walking back into the kitchen Naruto took a cloth from the counter and wiped Toppuu's face gently before scooping apple sauce into the spoon. With a smile he held it out to Toppuu's mouth. "Open up Toppuu-chan! Here comes the shuriken!" (…What DO shinobi parents say to their children to get them to eat? Here comes the kunai?!! All shinobi objects either explode or have are covered in sharp pointy edges!!)

"Shuriken?"

"Shut up! You have any better ideas? At least he's eating for me!"

And indeed Toppuu opened his mouth happily for the incoming spoon.

"Ch, idiotic baby probably doesn't know any better."

"Hey–" Naruto was cut off but a poke to his arm. Turning around he determined the culprit as Toppuu. Grinning Naruto poked him back. Stunned for a moment Toppuu poked Naruto again, then Naruto poked Toppuu again, then Toppuu poked Naruto, until it was all out poke war.

"Give up child! No one can defeat the almighty Uzumaki Naruto!"

"No!" Toppuu's new favorite word after mommy.

"Then fight 'til your death!"

Sasuke sighed at their stupidity. Really, why did he volunteer for this again? He was broken out of his thoughts by a glob of apple sauce to hit the back of his head.

Turning around quickly he saw a giggling Toppuu and an equally giggling Naruto, both holding spoons in their hands.

"NARUTO!"

KONOHA: FOUR YEARS FROM NOW

Step Two:

"Sasuke, you're really starting to creep me out here."

"Why is that?"

"Well, have you always been so…"

"So what, Naruto?"

"…It's nothing."

Muttering to himself Naruto spun on his heel and left the training grounds, leaving Sasuke alone with his thoughts.

Step two of the master plan seemed to be working fairly well, if not disturbing Naruto slightly. Naruto was baffled as the why Sasuke's hands seemed to brush over his person more times than necessary. But what Sasuke was really proud of was his trip wire scheme. Very discreetly the day before, Sasuke had set up a thin, hardly visible piece of Shinobi wire. Using the excuse that any young rookie could have been practicing traps seemed plausible enough and Naruto would be so embarrassed about the situation he would never bring up how the "Great Sasuke" would have fallen for a measly trap.

Meeting up with Naruto the next day, who was standing in his usual spot, just beyond the wire had been placed, Sasuke waved slightly to get the blonde's attention. "Oi, dead last, you awake yet?"

"I am not dead last you bastard!" Turning around the face the direction of Sasuke's voice, Naruto glared as menacingly as he could with hands on his hips. A rather unfortunate habit Naruto seemed to pick up from Sakura, much to Naruto's dismay it was often commented about how he looked like an angry housewife.

"Hn."

Wait for it, wait for it…There! And there was the wire, and there was Sasuke falling and…Shit he missed his target, depressing thoughts, wait…Hit an even _better_ target, this plan was genius!

From Naruto point of view he saw Sasuke falling forward, no, it was like a repeat of the academy, he had bruises for days because of Sasuke's fan girls; he wasn't ready to experience that again! Not thinking of his feet Naruto leant his head back causing Sasuke to miss his lips and keep on falling. Naruto's relief was short filled as Sasuke's face fell right into his groin area instead. (…I am _so_ dirty… Geese, gonna have to change the rating now…)

Sasuke was in heaven, sure there was cloth in between, but it was like his dreams had come to life. Lost in the moment Sasuke took and deep breath and snuggled further into the warmth. The dream soon ended as a searing pain erupted on the side of his head and he was knocked back several feet.

"P-P-PERVERT!"

"Wait, Naruto it was an accident!"

Sasuke didn't get the chance to continue as Naruto picked up a nearby log. Swinging the wood behind his back the blond brought it down on Sasuke poor head, who fell unconscious immediately after.

After waking up several hours later, Sasuke couldn't help thinking…

"That was worth the pain."

KONOHA: NINE YEARS FROM PRESENT (So we won't be confused if I say now.)

"…How can you eat that…?"

"Hm?"

Naruto looked up from where he was eating ramen…With ice-cream, ketchup, and anchovies all mixed in.

"It's good really Sasuke you should try some!"

"…I think I'll pass…"

The blonde shrugged, "Suit yourself, but you're missing out."

Sasuke was slightly concerned, Naruto had been acting more emotional that usual, and eating strange foods. Maybe something was wrong with his blonde? They'd been married for a year now, Uchiha Naruto was wholly furious that he couldn't keep Uzumaki at least somewhere in his name, Naruto would tell him if anything was wrong right?

A few days later after convincing Naruto it might be good to have a check up considering all the strange food combinations he'd been eating they went to see Tsunade, who refused to let anyone else be Naruto's doctor Although Naruto had protested at first but then agreed saying that he did feel a little _different_ lately. (Not everyone is cursed with morning sickness; my grandmother had nine children and didn't have morning sickness for a single one of them, she never had any womanly pains either…Some people have all the luck.)

"Hm, I don't really see what's wrong except…" Filling her hand with glowing green medic chakra, Tsunade held it above the area of Naruto's stomach. Neither of the couple was concerned with this, seeing as something was most likely wrong with his stomach.

Straightening herself up Tsunade smiled, "Well it seems you're completely healthy Naruto!"

"Really?"

'Yep, in fact, congratulations are in order."

"…I don't like this, last time you said that–"

"You're going to be a mother!"

Both Naruto and Sasuke fainted dead on the spot.

_Around nine months later, same year. _

After finally accepting that this was all Kyuubi's fault, damn genderless foxes, Naruto and Sasuke soon found themselves comfortable with the idea of children. They'd already taken care of one in the past, so it was really no problem. Plus, this made the council and villagers happy, seeing as they wanted more shinobi children. It had been a strange few months, the cravings for one, and Sasuke considered himself lucky that Naruto didn't get into extremely bad mood swings, the blonde tended to get angrier at the fact that his back and everything else hurt like hell rather than the fact Sasuke was cause of his troubles.

For the last few weeks, Naruto had been a bit worried about how said baby would be born, seeing as Kyuubi just made a bubble of chakra for a makeshift womb and healed all stretching or damage done to internal organs. That didn't mean he could just give birth like any other female though. Until Tsunade brought up a C-section, problem solved.

And this leads us to where they are now…

"Damn it Sasuke….when this is over I'm going to castrate you with a dull kunai!"

Though the C-section was a perfect solution…That didn't stop it from hurting like hell, no matter how many pain reducers and sedatives were given. Let it never be said that Kyuubi didn't enjoy the suffering of others.

Sasuke meekly squeaked in response, Naruto was slowly crushing his hand.

"When this is over, we find some other way to revive your clan!"

"Orioke no jutsu maybe?"

"Not," Naruto grunted, "On your life Sasuke-bastard."

It wasn't until later that night was Uchiha Toppuu born.

"Look, he has my eyes."

"And your hair apparently."

"Hey, hey, hey, I grew out of that hair years ago!"

"For someone who just gave birth a few hours ago you sure are chipper."

"Do _you_ want to give birth next time? I'm sure we'll figure _something _out."

"I love you oh great bearer of my child."

"That's what I thought you said."

/---------------------------/

LBH: This chapter has hardly and Toppuu at all, sadness. But I just kept thinking up things and I ended up skipping around a lot. Oh well…

R/R


	9. Date

LBH: I know you're all at the point of mad tomato throwing, but please, hold your vegetables until the chapter is over. I am now on a week long vacation /Plays Final Fantasy Victory Music/ That means I will have more time to update since I do have a life, which sadly consists of doing manual labor and cooing over my adorably sweet dog.

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything, just my crazy insane ideas…**

**WARNING: Yaoi, mpreg, bad grammar, spelling errors, unusual sense of humor, and….Sasuke abuse.  
**

**/----------------------------------/**

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Date

KONOHA: FOUR YEARS FROM NOW

Step three had gone according to plan, seeing as it was the easiest step to accomplish. He and Naruto always went out together in public places anyway. This along with the "casual" touches and Naruto's now apparent attraction to him, it was time to ask for a date. Now this would be the hard part. Dates were supposed to bring people closer together, an excuse to cuddle and do public displays of affection. The thing was, although Naruto may seem like a huggy person, it was these touchy moments that made the blonde most uncomfortable. Naruto was usually the one that gave the tackle hugs and that was the only positive touches he got, so when someone else besides Naruto initiated hugs, then Naruto would freak out to put it bluntly.

Also the fact that Naruto had never been on a date, sure the boy had asked Sakura on dates when they were twelve, but he never expected her to say yes. And after he got over his minor crush on the girl he never asked anyone out again. Yet he had been asked out by others, others he didn't know, so of course Naruto would refuse.

After reassuring himself several times Sasuke prepared to ask Naruto out…

"No."

And was cruelly denied.

"It's not that I don't like you Sasuke, and I do, we wouldn't be best friends if I didn't like you, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now. And I really don't want to lose our friendship. Maybe some other time?"

Okay so he had been denied, at least Naruto wasn't like Sakura when she turned down people. Naruto was kind about it, another reason why Sasuke loved Naruto so much. So Naruto had said no the first time, never mind the fact that he was depressed for a total of five minutes before his determination returned with double the force, there was always next time. Naruto WOULD say yes…hopefully.

Naruto sighed, he never expected Sasuke to start asking him out. And the boy was…persistent. Thinking of all of Sasuke's futile attempts brought a small smile to his lips. What Sasuke was doing completely went against his normally stoic personality. It was kind of cute. Maybe he'd say yes next time…

"Sure."

"Really why won't you– wait, did you say yes?"

"Well I could say no if you really want me to…"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "It's too late for that now. You've already said yes." Sasuke smirked, "That makes you my date."

Naruto's eye twitched in annoyance before he smacked Sasuke lightly on the back of the head. "Possessive asshole…" But that didn't stop Sasuke from seeing the glitter of mirth and joy in Naruto's eyes.

SOME TIME LATER…

Sasuke tapped his foot impatiently. He hoped to any higher beings out there that Naruto hadn't started to pick up Kakashi's habits. Sasuke still wore shinobi clothes but there were clean and were a little nicer than his normal outfit. He'd also forgone his Jounin jacket. Although it was simply a royal blue long sleeved turtle neck and clean black shinobi pants that ended at mid calf before they were covered with bandages, the outfit still gave him a few more looks than usual.

"Hey Sasuke thanks for waiting!"

Sasuke looked up the call of his date. Naruto was currently running down the road, a long orange scarf trailing behind him. Heh, it seemed like Naruto still owned some orange somewhere.

The blond stopped in front of him smiling brightly. The black three quarters length sleeved shirt showed off his bare forearms until his hand were covered by metal backed fingerless gloves. The same navy blue pants and bandages remained along with the same footwear.

"And here I thought you were becoming Kakashi-sensei."

"Don't compare with that pervert!"

"But you're used to that aren't you? You did train with the world's greatest super pervert."

Naruto crumbled, "Don't remind me. And never call him great, you can never tell when he might pop up and take it was a compliment."

Shaking his head, Naruto immediately brightened up, "So what are we doing on this date?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't really know what people do on dates."

Naruto stared.

"What?"

"If _you_ don't know what to do on a date, and _I_ don't know what to do on a date…Then _what_ are we going to do?"

"…Train?"

"Sounds good to me."

LATER

"UCHIHA SASUKE THAT IS THE MOST UNROMANTIC DATE I'VE **EVER** HEARD OF!!!"

Sasuke scowled and rubbed at his ears. Just because Sakura had abandoned her fan girl ways didn't mean that her volume was turned any lower.

Sakura glared fiercely at the last Uchiha.

"I can't believe you took Naruto on such a dismal date! Did you even hold hands, have dinner, good night kisses?!"

"Well no but…"

'THEN IT'S NOT A DATE! You ask him out and make it a proper date!" Sakura clasped her hands together and her eyes gained a starry look. "A date should be romantic, a breath of fresh air for both parties. A chance to really connect with your other half and express your eternal love to one another, a way to keep the chemistry going." The pink haired girl suddenly gained a dark look and glared at Sasuke. "**NOT** some cheap excuse to train together in nice clothing!"

Sasuke said nothing.

"You _are_ planning on asking him out again?"

"Of course."

"Then I will be planning your next date."

Sasuke opened his mouth to complain but Sakura spoke first.

"You let me do this or else I'll expose your entire Naruto picture album to the world."

"How did you—"

"I was a former fan girl, you remember."

Perhaps Sakura had completely changed after all.

(Although I disliked Sakura at first, but she got better and I'm not really big on character bashing.)

NEXT DAY

And so Sasuke asked Naruto out again. Naruto, figuring the date would be the same as last time, agreed. Wearing the same clothes and trailing orange scarf Naruto met Sasuke on Team Seven's former meeting place, the bridge.

"So Sasuke, what are we going to do this time?"

"Dinner."

Naruto blinked, "Dinner, dinner where? Oh, I know, how about Ichiraku!"

Sasuke shook his head, "I made dinner."

The blonde blinked, "You can cook?"

"You can bake, so I don't see why you're surprised."

"Okay, we can both prepare food so _where_ exactly are we going to eat?"

"Somewhere with a great sunset."

"And this place would be…?"

Gesturing to the village, Sasuke smirked, "Where else dead last, your favorite place, the Hokage Monument."

Eating on top of the Fourth's stone head was…different than Naruto thought it would be. He'd sat up here watching the village on numerous occasions but it felt special somehow with Sasuke. Eating the hand made food and watching the sunset over a silhouette of the village was nice, but being with Sasuke made it all the more better. Though they didn't just sit in silence, although Naruto obviously still talked more than the dark haired avenger, Sasuke did make a good conversation. And they had even managed to do this without breaking into a serious argument! Though the light teasing between them was a constant. (You notice how I skim over these things? Well I've never er…_been_ on a date so I can't really say that I know much what I'm talking about right now.)

Sasuke then proceeded to walk Naruto back to his apartment.

"I had a great time Sasuke; we should do this again sometime. Over lunch maybe?"

"Of course."

But before stepping into his apartment Naruto gave a quick peck to Sasuke's cheek.

"Night Sasuke!"

After the door closed Sasuke still stood there with a slightly dumfounded look on his face. Reaching a hand up to touch his cheek he smiled a little. What do you know; Kakashi's plan was working after all.

KONOHA: NINE YEARS FROM PRESENT

"Say Sasuke, you notice something…familiar about our son?"

Sasuke looked up from the crib holding his child and to his spouse. Glancing back at his son again with a contemplative look on his face he nodded.

"I've noticed, but I figured he would seem familiar because he looks like both of us."

Taking a closer look Sasuke finally made the connection. "Toppuu."

"What?"

"That's who he looks like, an exact replica of Toppuu."

Naruto looked closer too. "You're right! Wait a second." Naruto ran out of the room and returned moments later with a picture frame. Showing the picture to Sasuke, the dark haired looked over the picture. In the picture was Naruto, Sasuke, and the little baby from that mission so long ago, Toppuu. Toppuu was sitting on Naruto's lap, little arms circling the blonde's neck, smiling. While Naruto was leaning against Team Seven's bridge also smiling while Sasuke was standing and smirking next to Naruto.

Tracing his fingers over the picture Sasuke looked from his son to Toppuu. Looking at the eyes he saw it. They were one in the same. For whatever reason, his son and Toppuu are the same person. Sasuke twitched; if this was true then Toppuu would grow up to cling endlessly to Naruto.

"Well I suppose this solves the name issue."

Naruto looked up in confusion at Sasuke's words.

"He was named Toppuu in the past and it was a name we were considering."

"Toppuu it is." Naruto agreed.

"But Sasuke, how did he end up in the past?"

"Judging from his age I'd say he won't be sent back until another year and he comes back so we don't have to worry about him but…"

"That still doesn't answer the question of _how._"

Sasuke shrugged, "We'll know when the time comes but…"

"But…?"

"If that really is the Toppuu we know, then he'll be a clingy little brat…"

"He was NOT clingy or a brat Sasuke!"

But Sasuke continued on, as if not hearing Naruto's words.

"Which also means he'll probably cry whenever we try to have sex! DAMN!"

Naruto stared at Sasuke a moment before twitching and hitting Sasuke over the head.

"IS THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?!?!"

Sasuke grumbled, "But it can all be prevented…If I just act in accordance…"

Just then Toppuu started cry and Naruto rushed to pick him up. Rocking the newborn back and forth gently until he quieted. Naruto looked to Sasuke. "Honestly Sasuke do you really think Toppuu will be clingy? We have no proof was the Toppuu from the past. Here, hold him and see." Naruto placed Toppuu into Sasuke's arms where the baby instantly started crying again. Sasuke put Toppuu back in Naruto's arms and room was silent again.

"…Well…I' sure he'll get used to you!"

Sasuke screamed in frustration. "It's already starting!!!!"

Naruto sweat dropped as Sasuke started to mope about his only son stealing all of his "wife's" attention.

'This is going to be a long year…"

/-----------------------------------/

LBH: Not a really good chapter, but at least it's something.

R/R


	10. Through Time

LBH: I've gotten to the point where I just want to finish this story… I didn't actually plan for this thing to be so long…. And as for this chapter's title…I just watched Back to the Future (I LOVE those movies, Great Scott!) and I _really, reallllly _wanted to put Flux Capacitor in there somewhere but no…Naruto and Sasuke don't have a DeLorean…

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, I do, however, own Toppuu. **

**WARNING: Bad spelling, grammar, yaoi, mpreg, characters OOC… **

**/-------------------------/**

CHAPTER EIGHT: 

Through Time

KONOHA: TEN YEARS FROM PRESENT

"Well this is a first." Sasuke commented dryly.

Naruto gaped at him, "Our son just disappeared through an influx of chakra and that's the FIRST thing you say?!"

Sasuke shrugged, "We knew this would happen didn't we? And he comes back safe and sound. Just relax Naruto."

The blonde scowled at his husband and looked away. He knew something would happen to Toppuu, he just didn't think it would be this. They'd been walking through the training fields at the edge of the village for an inspection when they'd been assaulted by an enemy shinobi. Being the Hokage did have some disadvantages apparently. When a chakra laced attack had come too close to his son for comfort he used some of Kyuubi's chakra to make a barrier, the combination of Kyuubi's chakra with another human's made a small rip in space, just enough to vacuum a baby through… Of course Naruto had been so enraged that he'd nearly killed the other shinobi and he would have succeeded if it weren't for Sasuke, who reminded him that Ibiki was always in need of new playthings to experiment on. Ibiki would torture this man far better than he could.

"Sasuke? How do you suppose we even go back in time to bring him home?" Funny, he never thought the two men picking up Toppuu from their genin team ten years ago would be his older self, talk about freaky…

"Again, Naruto, I don't know. I could have sworn that the theory of chakra time travel was disproved…"

"Well, we just ruined _that_ little theory didn't we?!"

"Hn."

Naruto scowled again but mentally sympathized with Sasuke, as they got older and eventually got married Sasuke had become a warmer person and for that he was grateful, not that he wouldn't have loved him either way…It was just more favorable to raise children with a father that could actually smile now and then. So of course he'd go cold again when he was worried about Toppuu, no matter how much he insisted that he wasn't worried and knew that Toppuu would be fine. Smiling he laced his hand into Sasuke's and pulled him towards the village.

"Come on bastard, there's some tea with your name on it."

It wasn't until a few weeks later that Kyuubi, in all his royal demon impatience, had opened a new time rip. The demon fox was seriously sick of his vessel's constant moping. He'd prefer a happy idiot than a depressed one.

KONOHA: PRESENT 

Naruto stared in apprehension at the two figures standing in the Hokage's office. How could they be Toppuu's mother and father? They were both male! Not that he had any problems with that, he hated being bias for fear of succumbing to petty hatred like the villagers, but wouldn't child birth require…Oh I don't know…A VAGINA?!?!

The blonde man chuckled, "You'd be surprised at what a good medic can do.'

Naruto blinked, he hadn't said that aloud…Had he?! He blushed suddenly, he prayed to whatever higher being out there that he had NOT said that out loud.

Suddenly the small child in his arms started struggling and reaching out towards the blonde man. "Mommy!" Toppuu shrieked in delight. Suddenly squirming out of Naruto's arms and to the floor, the child tottered as fast as he could to outstretched arms of the older man.

Falling into a gentle embrace Toppuu smiled up at his real mother. The child had distantly wondered why his parents seemed shorter…

"Up!" Lifting the small child up from his armpits and into the air, the blonde spun around in circles making silly faces at the laughing boy. The other male just smiled slightly before turning back to a young team seven. Normally they would have been recognized that Toppuu's parents seemed a little too similar to Naruto and Sasuke but that was nothing a little hair gel for him and little cover up for Naruto couldn't fix. Now they just seemed to resemble their younger counter part's, and this explained why Toppuu addressed Naruto and Sasuke as mommy and daddy. They just looked like his real parents, but Toppuu being who he was immediately sniffed out who they were and Naruto was instantly mommy again.

"We thank you for watching our son for us; he hasn't been causing problems I trust?"

Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head, "Nah, he's been no problem at all!"

Sasuke's face immediately darkened, "That's your opinion…"

"Shut up! You're just angry because he liked me better!"

"Ch, that's just because you looked like his mother."

"Oh yeah?! Well he still likes me better!"

"Idiot."

"I'm not an idiot!"

Sakura looked on in exasperation, "Well at least Naruto is back to normal…All those maternal habits were freaking me out."

Kakashi nodded, "Maa, maa….But it sure was funny though!"

She looked at him oddly, "Only you Kakashi-sensei…. Only you…" The gray haired man only giggled and brought out his little orange book. Sakura sighed and walked away, if their mission was over she needed to collect their payment, she vaguely noticed that Kakashi, her two other teammates followed her. Naruto was so involved in his argument with Sasuke he failed to say goodbye to Toppuu. It was for the best anyway, it wouldn't be right to say goodbye when it wasn't true, they would see each other again eventually.

The older Naruto looked after them and laughed, "Was I really that short?" He rocked Toppuu back and forth in his arms as the child giggled happily.

"Hn, you're still short."

"I am not!"

"You only come up to my chin, face it. You're short."

"Gaaah! I wonder why I married you some times! And for the record, you're just freakishly tall."

Sasuke smirked and wrapped his arms loosely around Naruto's waist, comfortably resting his chin on the blonde's shoulder. He nibbled on Naruto's tan neck and gave a smug look at his husband, who shivered in pleasure.

"Because you love me."

"…Damn, I hate when you're right."

Sasuke was about to reply when a small fist bopped him on the nose. The ebony haired man gazed down at his son, whose face was scrunched in a pout and his cheeks puffed in an imitation of a frog. That look had Naruto written all over it. Ruffling the boy's hair he smirked. "Get used to it squirt, that's what married people do."

"You more so than others."

"Except I have an excuse, I have an entire clan to revive. Therefore I can have all the sex I want."

"You just say that so other people don't scold us when we do it in public places."

He shrugged," It works doesn't it? Plus, my wife is just so damn cute."

Naruto stuck out his tongue, "Nice try, but you're getting nothing tonight."

Sasuke sighed, "Fine, fine. Let's go home then."

"Lead the way."

KONOHA: TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW

The dark haired youth ducked into an ally way with a fierce scowl. Damn he hated women sometime! He could see why his parents were gay. After waiting a minute he checked his surroundings to make sure he wouldn't be spotted, making a break for it he ran up the wall and jumped from roof to roof, making his way to the Uchiha complex.

Walking up the path through the thriving garden, a hobby of his mother's, he opening the door and slipped his shoes off. Walking down the main hallway he intended to go to his room but he heard another voice. Huh, his father must have gotten back early from his mission.

"Well you see, the influx of chakra caused a rip in space…" Not that story _again!_

An eleven year old replica of the man in the parlor walked in with his arms crossed. Blue eyes narrowed dangerously, the only difference from him and his father except his wild hair. Toppuu glared briefly at the three other children in the room.

"Dad! You know I hate it when you tell that story! Do you know how ridiculous it is to be called the time traveling baby?!"

A thirty two year old Sasuke smirked at his first born. The only reason he brought the story up in the first place was to get mild revenge for all the times he interrupted him and his husband.

"But it makes a wonderful bed time story."

"Yeah! Leave dad alone big brother!" Toppuu looked down at his three year old brother. He had their mother's wild blonde hair, eyes and personality; he was also the only one in the family who had inherited the blonde hair.

"Oh, and what does the little sunspot going to do about it?"

"Arrrrrg! Don't call me that!"

"Alright, alright Kokuten, I don't see why it bothers you so much, that's what your name means anyway."

"Yeah, but Kokuten sounds cooler!"

"What do you think Sogeki? Hoshi?" Toppuu looked to his younger twin brothers, who were six. They had ebony hair and eyes, and their father's tame hair.

"Hm, well we think-"

"-That whatever irritates-"

"-Our brother dearest-"

"Has got to be the best story ever!" The twins finished as one. They twins were always together and only the family could tell them apart. They took great pride in confusing everyone else. Twins had the same chakra signatures, which was the most aggravating feature for shinobi who tried to tell the difference between identical siblings.

"What's the best story ever?"

Toppuu looked up brightly and ran to hug his mother who was holding a baby girl in his arms, their five month old sister, Mikoto, named after his grandmother, Uchiha Mikoto. She was the only female in the family and had dark black hair that almost seemed blue and obsidian eyes, she looked like their grandmother too.

Naruto smiled at his son and ran a hand through his hair, "How was your day Toppuu?"

"Boring, I had no missions today, you were at the office, and dad was on a mission, and everyone else was either busy, at the academy, or in daycare."

"Better than my day, I _despise_ paperwork."

Sasuke smirked, "You've only said that for the past ten years."

The blonde stuck his tongue out at his husband, "Shut up!"

"You never grow up do you?"

"And act like a stuffy old man for the rest of my days? Never!!"

Toppuu smiled at his parents and ushered his siblings out of the room, he took Mikoto out of his mother's arms and left the room as well. These arguments usually led to his father's "creative" side, as he had put it all those years ago. Although he was still a mama's boy, he beat up anyway who dared say that, he had eventually let up on his father and gotten used to creation of babies. He supposed it was his fault, he had asked for a sibling after all… When he heard more moans than usual at night after that, he thought the house was going to fall down due to pressure or something, he WAS only four then. He blushed as he thought back to it, it was so _wrong_ to hear your parents doing **it**…

Shaking his head furiously Toppuu stepped outside from the empty hall, his siblings had scattered after leaving the room, and into the garden after putting Mikoto to sleep.

Although he hated the name "Time Traveling Baby" he was really grateful that he'd been the one to help bring his parents together, even if he only helped a little. Leaning against the tree trunk in their yard he yawned and looked up at the sky with a small smile.

Today was a good day.

He suddenly heard a loud moan from the house.

….Screw that thought.

Literally.

Ug, he was turning into his father!

Scratch everything nice he ever said about the man, he was taking it back!

He heard another moan. He could hear that all the way from outside?

Smirking suddenly Toppuu stood up and ran into the house. "Moooooooooooooom!!!! Dad's being loooooooooooooud!"

Some habits never die, unfortunately for Sasuke.

END

/-----------------------/

LBH: There, nice even number to end on. Plus, I was running out of ideas. Hehe, sorry I didn't continue the story of Sasuke wooing Naruto, but I'll tell you the abridged version. Many, many dates later they fell in love, did lovely things on a bed, got married, and we know the rest after that. I apologize to those who wanted a lemon, I can't write those. (…I DO however draw some nice pictures…) Though Kei can, she is my lemon consultant.

R/R


End file.
